


*Teenagers By MCR plays*

by yetanotherunfinishedsymphony (thegreatestsun)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, BASED ON THE CHARACTERS, Bird Hybrid Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Cat Hybrid Antfrost (Video Blogging RPF), Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Creeper Hybrid Sam | Awesamdude, Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Enderman Hybrid Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Fluff and Crack, Fox Hybrid Floris | Fundy, Gen, Jschlatt is Toby Smith | Tubbo's Parent, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parental Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil is a teacher in this!!, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ram Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sheep Hybrid Cara | CaptainPuffy, They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), This Is STUPID, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, but modern, it's just crack, it's still like minecraft, not the irl people, with like the fantasy stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29675694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatestsun/pseuds/yetanotherunfinishedsymphony
Summary: *Wilbur changed Phil’s nickname to Dadza*Techno: Oh no.Tommy: wilbur im trusting u here*Wilbur changed Tommy’s nickname to Theseus*Theseus: WHY MY FULL NAME YOU BITCHWilbur: Because you react like that lmao---It's a chatfic, that's it.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/Wilbur Soot, Clay | Dream/Wilbur Soot (Past), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 259
Kudos: 1082





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello welcome to a chatfic because i've never written one of those before,
> 
> just some notes about the au just so no one is confused, especially later on
> 
> -minecraft stuff still applies, non-human characters are still non-human  
> -magic still exists, so potions and enchantments  
> -most characters are in high school  
> -other than that pretty much just a modern au,
> 
> other characters will be added as the story goes on, we're just vibing for now :D
> 
> (CW will be in the beginning notes of chapters if any apply)

**Family Groupchat :D**

**Philza** : Alright so, Techno, Wilbur, remember, you’ve got to show Tommy around the school, and I don’t want either of you leaving him in the middle of a busy hallway or anything. I'm serious, I remember what you two were like in middle school.

**Tommy** : why did u change our nicknames again

  
  
 **Wilbur** : Yeah come on we worked hard on those :((  
  


 **Techno** : Thank you for changing them

  
  
***Wilbur changed Phil’s nickname to Dadza***

**  
  
Techno** : Oh no.

  
  
 **Tommy** : wilbur im trusting u here

***Wilbur changed Tommy’s nickname to Theseus***

**  
**  
**Theseus** : WHY MY FULL NAME YOU BITCH

  
  
 **Wilbur** : Because you react like that lmao

  
  
***Theseus changed Theseus’s nickname to BIG MAN***

Dadza: You do all realise I’m changing this back tonight?

***Wilbur changed Techno’s nickname to techno***

**techno** : why

**Wilbur** : :))

**techno** : I’m in pain.

***techno changed techno’s nickname to The Blood God***

***Wilbur changed Wilbur’s nickname to Wiblur***

**BIG** **MAN** : That’s such a shit name

**Wiblur** : You’re a shit child

**Dadza** : Okay, that’s enough.

**The Blood God:** AS YOU WERE SAYING, Phil–

**Dadza** : Thank you, Techno. I want you two to show Tommy around and show him where his classes are.

**BIG MAN:** i can remember a fucking building

**The Blood God:** Can you really?

**BIG MAN:** I HATE YOU SO MUCH

**Wiblur:** Do we draw him a map or something–

**BIG MAN:** OH YOU AND YOUR FUCKING MAPS

**Dadza:** Calm down, Tommy.

**The Blood God:** Oooooh get schooled.

**BIG MAN:** YOU ARE THE WORST BROTHER

**BIG MAN:** I HATE YOU SO MUCH

**BIG MAN:** I AM GOING TO COME UPSTAIRS AND BEAT YOUR STUPID ARSE

**The Blood God:** Try it.

**Wiblur:** Did I just hear a crash-

**Dadza** : Oh god.

\--

**Teenagers By MCR:**

**Mr Innit:** bad news boys

**Tuberculosis:** oh no

**Ranboi:** Are you grounded

**Mr Innit:** perhaps

**Ranboi:** How did you manage that

**Tuberculosis:** did you hit one of your brothers

**Mr Innit:** fucking maybe Tubbo

**Tuberculosis:** does this mean you can’t come over tomorrow :((

**Mr Innit:** take a wild fucking guess

**Ranboi:** Aw I was looking forward to that D:

**Mr Innit:** well its not my fault technoblade is a dickhead

**Tuberculosis:** yeah but you didn’t have to hit him??

**Ranboi:** I mean I haven’t spoken to Techno before but he seems nice??

**Mr Innit:** HE IS NOT NICE RANBOO HE IS A DICKHEAD HE IS A FUCKING PRICK

**Tuberculosis:** Technobalde is nice Ranboo Tommy is just angry

**Mr Innit:** I am not angry Tubbo how dare you

**Tuberculosis:** you just called your brother a dickhead

**Mr Innit:** CAUSE HE IS ONE

**Ranboi:** You’re kind of proving our point here

**Tuberculosis:** congrats you played yourself

**Ranboi:** Like the instrument you are

**Mr Innit:** what

***Tuberculosis changed Mr Innit’s nickname to Tombourine***

**Tombourine:** OH I HATE YOU

**Ranboi:** I’m still okay to come over, right Tubbo?

**Tuberculosis:** yep!!

**Tombourine:** I hate you two so much


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this, hints at a plot? and also so many more character tags to be added?
> 
> (i'm glad so many of you liked this fic lmao, seeing all your comments really brightens my day <3)
> 
> (CWs: there's a joke about jumping out of a window in this chapter)

**The Dream Team**

***Technoblade was added to The Dream Team***

**Technoblade:** Uh what

**Dré:** YOU SERIOUSLY ADDED HIM??

**Snapchat:** yes

**Gogy:** Fucking why

**Technoblade:** Yes I’d also like to know

**Dré:** we were arguing about Wilbur

**Technoblade:** So you added me instead of him?

**Gogy:** Yeah we can’t exactly ask him directly

**Snapchat:** he’s not actually 6’5 right??

**Technoblade:** Why, you have a bet on or something?

**Gogy:** Yeah

**Dré:** yeah :)

**Snapchat:** yeah

**Muffinhead:** You actually have a bet?

***Snapchat removed Muffinhead***

**Gogy:** Hey be nice to your father

**Snapchat:** he is literally only one year above me but go off

**Technoblade:** Can I at least have an idea of what this bet is?

**Dré:** we’re betting whether or not your brother is actually 6’5

**Snapchat:** I mean Dream of all people should know

**Technoblade:** Uh why?

***Dré removed Snapchat***

**Dré:** No reason :)

**Technoblade:** That’s suspicious but okay.

***Gogy added Sapnap***

**Sapnap:** aw I have to redo my nickname

***Sapnap changed Sapnap’s nickname to Snapchat***

**Dré:** anyway

**Dré:** there are several people who are in on this bet

**Dré:** and I am expecting to get paid when we’re back.

**Dré: @Technoblade** is your brother actually 6’5?

**Technoblade:** No, Tommy is 6'3.

**Dré:** Oh my god I forgot you’re annoying

**Gogy:** Why would we care about Tommy’s height

**Technoblade:** He’s a freshman this year

**Gogy:** And he’s 6’3?? What the hell

**Snapchat:** that’s awful

**Gogy:** Shut up junior

**Snapchat:** DAD HE’S BEING MEAN TO ME

**Gogy:** You removed him dumbass

**Dré:** anyway thank you for your service Technoblade :)

**Technoblade:** You’re welcome I think

***Technoblade left***

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** I now have confirmation of Wilbur Soot’s height.

**Skeppy:** bet

**Quackity:** wow that’s almost like the reason we’re in this gc

**Dream:** shut up

**Dream:** anyway point is, next week, prepare your money.

**Fundy:** I feel like we need a specific time and place

**Dream:** First day back, 3:30pm, just outside the cafeteria. NO ONE GET DETENTION

**Eret:** Do I have to come or-

**Dream:** yes you’re rich :)

**Karl:** yes

**Quackity:** yes

**Sapnap:** yes

**Fundy:** Yes

**George:** Yes

**Skeppy:** yes

**Bad:** Yes

**Sam:** No, not if you don’t want to :^)

**Puffy:** yeah, no pressure!!

**Quackity:** GODDAMN IT

**Sapnap:** WE EVEN GOT BAD IN ON IT

**Eret:** Lmao I’ll come

**Karl:** hang on who is your source

**Skeppy:** yeah is it legit

***Dream sent screenshot.1***

***Dream sent screenshot.2***

**Dream:** Technoblade :)

**Karl:** Oh damn

**Sam:** That’s probably the most legit source you can get

**Puffy:** aside from Wilbur himself I guess?

**Dream:** no he lies about stuff about himself all the time

**Dream:** do you know how long it took me to find out his birthday

**Quackity:** Why would you even need to know his birthday

**Dream:** curiosity :)

**Punz:** okay sorry I just woke up what-

**Karl:** Dream got actual legit info if Wilbur is actually 6’5

**Punz:** bets are on then?

**Dream:** they always were :)

\--

**Family Groupchat :D**

**Techno: @Wiblur**

**Techno:** Oh wait Phil did say he was changing the nicknames

**Techno: @Wilbur**

**Wilbur:** Yes?

**Techno:** Are you aware that Dream, George, and Sapnap have a bet about your height?

**Wilbur:** What

**Techno:** Yeah.

**Wilbur:** Dream knows how tall I am though?

**Tommy:** Oh Dream that bastard

**Techno:** Wait why don’t you like Dream?

**Tommy:** Remember when he used to be over all the time

**Techno:** Vaguely.

**Wilbur:** Oh is this about your fuckin,, discs

**Tommy:** HE STOLE MY DISCS WILBUR

**Tommy:** MY PRIZED FUCKING POSSESSIONS

**Wilbur:** I mean you’re one to talk.

**Tommy:** the fuck does that mean bitch

**Wilbur:** You’re literally wearing my hoodie right now

**Tommy:** what

**Tommy:** oh THAT’S where i got it. thought i stole it from Tubbo

**Techno:** Okay anyway,

**Techno:** I have no idea how much money is on the line, or when or how this is taking place.

**Wilbur:** Should we crash it

**Techno:** Sure, I’ve got nothing else to do on Monday. If that’s when it’s happening.

**Phil:** You have class?

**Techno:** I also have like two free periods

**Tommy:** TECHNOOOO

**Techno:** Yes?

**Tommy:** will you help me get my discs back

**Techno:** Why would I do that?

**Tommy:** pleeeeeease

**Techno:** Asking again, why would I do that?

**Tommy:** fucking hell alright

***Tommy has added Tubbo***

**Tubbo:** Technoblade please help us

**Phil:** Hello Tubbo

**Tubbo:** hello mr Minecraft

**Techno:** Seriously? Bringing Tubbo in?

**Wilbur:** Tommy if you don’t annoy me all semester I’ll help you get your discs back.

**Tommy:** wilby your prices are too high

**Wilbur:** Aww Wilby, haven’t seen that in a while

**Tommy:** IT WAS THE STUPID AUTOCORRECT

**Techno:** Oh wow, last time you called him that you were like seven.

**Tubbo:** you used to call Wilbur Wilby??

***Tommy removed Tubbo***

**Tommy:** i hate you all

**Tommy:** i’m going to ranboo’s

**Phil:** Uh, no.

**Phil:** You’re still grounded.

**Tommy:** can ranboo come over here

**Phil:** No.

**Tommy:** i’m running away

**Wilbur:** And you won’t be missed

**Tommy:** if it were not for me being fucking grounded i would absolutely destroy you

**Wilbur:** Go and facetime Tubbo or something smh

**Tommy:** i can and will jump out of the window

**Tommy: @Phil** you think if i jump out of the window my wings will come in

**Phil:** Tommy, you are not a hybrid, as far as I’m aware. If you were an Avian you would’ve already grown wings, and I don’t think dropping yourself from a window would forcibly make you grow them.

**Wilbur:** Can we try it anyway

***Techno left***

***Wilbur added Technoblade***

**Technoblade:** PLEASE shut up I’m trying to read

**Tommy:** can you read to me

**Technoblade:** Sure. But why?

**Tommy:** i’m incredibly bored

**Technoblade:** Sure, I’ll get out your book.

**Wilbur:** Awww is it the Theseus one

**Technoblade:** Can you think of another book I’d bother dedicating to Tommy

**Wilbur:** Fair and valid!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur i think is simply too tall. Ranboo gets rights cause he's an enderman but Wilbur, nah.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 3 look how far i've come-
> 
> Notes:   
> \--> means dms instead of groupchats!  
> ships are being referenced/implied and will be included in the future, but again, these are the smp characters and not the real people
> 
> CW: food and resturants are discussed 
> 
> hope you enjoy!

**Teenagers by MCR:**

**Tombourine:** **@Tuberculosis @Ranboi** WHERE ARE YOU

**Tombourine:** I HAVE BEEN ABANDONED BY MY SHITTY BROTHERS

**Tombourine:** I AM VERY ALONE

**Ranboi:** I’m hiding

**Tombourine:** hiding where

**Tombourine:** also why

**Ranboi:** In the janitor’s closet I think?

**Ranboi:** Someone slammed into me in the hallway and I blacked out

**Ranboi:** I somehow got in here despite the door being locked

**Tombourine:** oh

**Tombourine:** should i come and help you

**Tuberculosis:** you might’ve teleported big man

**Tombourine:** oh yeah you do that sometimes don’t you

**Ranboi:** Sometimes?? I guess??

**Tombourine:** what about you Tubbo where are you

**Tuberculosis:** Still driving

**Tombourine:** what

**Ranboi:** What?

**Tuberculosis:** My dad is not good at driving

**Tombourine:** youre telling me

**Tombourine:** do you remember when we went to pizza hut

**Tuberculosis:** For my birthday? Two years ago?

**Tombourine:** obviously i am talking about that

**Tuberculosis:** I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T MEANT TO

**Ranboi:** What happened-

**Tuberculosis:** You don’t wana know

**Tombourine:** you REALLY don’t want to know

**Tuberculosis:** I’m never going to look at mannequins the same way again

**Ranboi:** WHAT?

**Tuberculosis:** What do you guys have first?

**Tombourine:** uhhhhhh maths

**Ranboi:** Also math

**Ramboi:** Are we just glossing over the birthday thing or-?

**Tombourine:** yes

**Tuberculosis:** yes

**Ranboi:** Okay then. I got out of the closet btw

**Tuberculosis:** POG how

**Ranboi:** I broke the lock

**Tombourine:** remember if no one saw it you’ve gotten away with it

**Ranboi:** This school should be more accessible to hybrids smh

**Tombourine:** i mean most hybrids don’t fucking teleport Ranboo

**Ranboi:** I know Tommy, it was a joke.

**Tuberculosis:** WHERE ARE YOU GUYS I’M IN

**Tombourine:** i was abandoned in the cafeteria

**Ranboi:** Oh I’ll meet you there

**Tuberculosis:** Coming too!!

\--

**The Dream Team:**

**Dré:** I am literally so bored

**Snapchat:** think of the bet

**Gogy:** Think of the money

**Snapchat:** think of the clout

**Muffinhead:** Don’t text in class

**Dré:** Oh come on now

**Snapchat:** killjoy

**Gogy:** I mean I’ve got a free period rn

**Dré:** Yeah and I already know all of this

**Dré:** Redstone is EASY man

**Snapchat:** show off

**Snapchat:** okay honest question, who’s betted the most money

**Dré:** Uhhh probably either Skeppy or Eret

**Gogy:** Eret?? Really??

**Dré:** Yeah they’re rich as hell :)

**Snapchat:** aren’t they like royalty?? or was that just a rumour

**Dré:** I think we’d know if they were royalty

**Dré:** …

**Dré:** Right?

**Snapchat:** maybe dude

**Gogy:** I wouldn’t be shocked

**Dré:** Oh shit one sec

**Dré:** think I’ve been caught, if I get my phone taken remember 3:30, CAFETERIA

**Gogy:** Rip

**Snapchat:** f

\--

**Wilbur -- > ** **Technoblade**

**Wilbur:** Did you plan on leaving Tommy in the cafeteria or

**Technoblade:** No? You were with him.

**Wilbur:** No, I left because YOU were with him

**Technoblade:** Did we abandon him?

**Wilbur:** I think we did

**Technoblade:** Well. We’re in trouble.

**Wilbur:** Oh yeah we’re so fucked

**Wilbur:** He's gonna use his abandonment issues against us

**Technoblade:** You think if we buy him McDonalds on the way home he won’t tell?

**Wilbur:** I mean that’s definitely something we could try

**Wilbur:** Or, alternatively, we could threaten him

**Technoblade:** How so?

**Wilbur:** We could call him Theseus all year

**Technoblade:** Oh, that’s good.

**Technoblade:** Hmmm, let’s get him the McDonalds, and if that doesn’t work, deploy the Theseus strategy.

**Wilbur:** Wow Technoblade you’re so cool and awesome

**Technoblade:** Wow Wilbur you’re so late to your Redstone class.

**Wilbur:** What?? OH SHIT

\--

**Teenagers by MCR:**

**Ranboi:** So was I meant to find out that Tommy’s real name was Theseus by the teacher reading it off the register or?

**Tombourine:** you weren’t meant to find out at all because it is a stupid fucking pussy name

**Ranboi:** Isn’t it the name of the guy who killed the minotaur? How is that a pussy name

**Tombourine:** ranboo my friend there are many things in this world that you do not understand and how my mind works is definitely one of them

**Ranboi:** O kay then

**Tuberculosis:** I thought everyone knew about Tommy’s name?

**Tombourine:** they didn’t until this stupid school put my name fucking wrong

**Ranboi:** But if it is like your name, it’s not really wrong??

**Tombourine:** god ranboo you know so little

**Ranboi:** We’ve got potions together next, wanna prove that?

**Tombourine:** oi i’m actually okay at potions

**Tubbo:** I’ve got English :((

**Tombourine:** F

**Ranboi:** F

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** Cafeteria now. Bet’s going down.

**Sapnap:** might be late hold it off

**Dream:** Wh. Why

**Karl:** we got detention

**Dream:** OH COME ON

**Punz:** the one thing he told you not to do

**Skeppy:** dude just skip

**Karl:** detention w/ MR MINECRAFT

**Skeppy:** oh shit, rip

**Bad:** Language

**Skeppy:** sorry

**Sapnap:** dude’s an avian he literally has eyes like a hawk

**Quackity:** then how are you texting hmmmmm????

**Sapnap:** skill

**Karl:** he’s very skilled!!

**Sapnap:** karl i’d kill and die for you <3

**Karl:** ok

**Quackity:** LMAO GET FUCKED

**Sapnap:** heart been broke so many tiiiimes

**Bad:** LANGUAGE

**Eret:** Uh quick question

**Dream:** yes please god

**Dream:** what is it Eret :)

**Eret:** Is Wilbur… MEANT to be here?

**Dream:** what no

**George:** oh shit

**Karl:** Bad before you say it just give up

**Skeppy:** let the man do his thing!

**Bad:** …Language

**Dream:** why the fuck is Wilbur there?

**Eret:** I have no idea, I just showed up and he and Technoblade were sat on a table talking to each other

**Eret:** Then they asked me about the bet

**Dream:** THIS IS THE OPPOSITE OF USEFUL

**Sapnap:** OKAY WE GOT OUT

**Karl:** getting to the cafeteria rn

**Quackity:** you’d be faster if you didn’t hold hands

**George:** We get it you’re jealous

**Quackity:** no I just find romance disgusting

**George:** Sure

**Dream:** @ ANYONE THAT’S ACTUALLY THERE, IS WILBUR ACTUALLY THERE

**Eret:** He is

**Skeppy:** he is

**Bad:** Yep

**Fundy:** Yeah he’s here

**Dream:** Fuck :)

**Bad:** Language

**Fundy:** Why do you even try

**Puffy:** Sorry we were coming from enchantments

**George:** Lost the signal right?

**Sam:** Yeah, all that magic messes with the redstone in our phones

**Sam:** But Wilbur is actually here

**Puffy:** Can confirm

**Dream:** this is not good!! This is the opposite of good!!!!

\--

**Dream </3 --> ** **Wilbur </3**

**Dream </3: **Hey are you in the cafeteria right now?

**Wilbur </3:** Perhaps. Why does it matter

**Dream </3: **well

**Wilbur </3:** I’m not meant to know about the bet am i

**Dream </3:** …technoblade told you didn’t he

**Wilbur </3:** Lmao yeah

**Wilbur </3:** Why can’t I be here?

**Dream </3:** If you’re there I might have to actually explain why I know your height

**Wilbur </3:** Okay and

**Wilbur </3:** Oh

**Wilbur </3:** OH

**Wilbur </3: ** OH NO

**Dream </3:** YEAH

**Dream </3: **NO ONE HERE IS EXACTLY STUPID

**Wilbur </3:** And this could help them piece it together, yeah,

**Wilbur </3:** Okay I’ll leave, I need to pick up food to keep Tommy quiet anyway

**Dream </3:** Aight thank you

**Wilbur </3:** Tell me who won the bet though this shit is funny

**Dream </3:** Lmao will do

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** I’m not there yet is Wilbur gone

**Eret:** He’s leaving, how did you do that?

**Dream:** :)

**Quackity:** anyone else find that mildly threatening?

**Karl:** oh yeah

**Skeppy:** get your ass over here we’re waiting on you!!

**Dream:** Behind you

**Quackity:** LMAO HIS FACE

**Karl:** PLS

\--

**Dream </3 --> ** **Wilbur </3:**

**Dream </3:** Quackity won

**Dream </3:** He was the only one who believed you were actually 6’5

**Wilbur </3: **Real question is how much did he win

**Dream </3:** Like 35 iron nuggets

**Wilbur </3:** 35 holy shit

**Wilbur </3: **Hey Dream

**Dream </3:** Yeah?

***Wilbur </3 changed Dream </3’s nickname to Dream <3***

**Dream <3:** oh

**Wilbur </3:** Lmao you’re funny

\--

**XD -- >** **Zzz**

**XD:** HELP

**Zzz:** What

***XD sent screenshot.1***

**Zzz:** OH SHIT

**XD:** WHAT DO I DO

**Zzz:** UH

**Zzz:** Heads up this is a bad idea

**XD:** AND IT IS?

***Zzz sent a voice message***

**XD:** Oh

**XD:** OH THAT COULD WORK

\--

**Wimblur -- >** **TeeHeeSeeus**

***Wimblur sent Bribary.jpg***

**Wimblur:** this is yours if you don’t tell Phil we forgot about you

**TeeHeeSeeus:** sure

**TeeHeeSeeus:** i wasn’t gonna tell him anyway but if you wanna buy me food

**Wimblur:** have I mentioned I hate being your brother

**TeeHeeSeeus:** no you don’t

**TeeHeeSeeus:** thank you by the way

**Wimblur:** alright fine I don’t

**Wimblur:** you’re welcome child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls give me comments they are my LIFEBLOOD and motivate me to write more :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a super long chapter today, i just wanted to get it out after whatever the FUCK that last Tommy stream was,
> 
> CWs: nicknames referring to arson, and more food mentions

**The Dream Team:**

***Dré sent screenshot.1***

**Dré:** so are we 100% sure Eret isn’t actually royalty

**Gogy:** Where the fuck did you find that picture

**Muffinhead:** Language! But good question

**Dré:** we were doing research on like other countries royal families and how they compare to the modern ones, you know for Mr Minecraft’s class

**Dré:** so I picked a country at random and Eret showed up in the family gathering photos??

**Gogy:** What the hell

**Muffinhead:** owo

**Dré:** do you think it’s time for a new bet?

**Gogy:** Sure. You’d have to kick Eret from the bets gc though

**Dré:** hmm true

**Dré: @Snapchat** think we should bet on this?

**Gogy:** Dream he’s probably in class rn

**Dré:** oh yeah

**Dré:** lmao isn’t he in English right now

**Dré:** with ~Karl~

**Muffinhead:** Aww I like Karl, he’s nice.

**Gogy:** He is, and SOMEONE might as well just ask him out already

**Dré:** when has Sapnap ever read back texts

**Gogy: @Snapchat** ask Karl out already you’re basically married

**Dré:** lmao

**Gogy:** Speaking of basically married

**Dré:** oh no

**Gogy:** **@Dré** when do you wanna pull this off

**Muffinhead:** Wait pull what off?

**Dré:** Secret plans, Bad

**Gogy:** Okay but when

**Dré:** Um

\--

**Dream <3 --> Wilbur </3**

**Dream <3:** Hey, just thought I should let you know something

**Wilbur </3:** Oh?

***Dream <3 sent a voice message***

**Dream <3:** hope you have headphones

\--

**XD -- > Zzz**

***XD sent screenshot***

**Zzz:** OH SO WE’RE DOING THIS NOW?

**XD:** YEP

**Zzz:** ACTING TIME JUST GO WITH THIS

**Zzz:** HEADS UP JUST MAKING THE ANNOUNCEMENT GC

\--

**Group Message with Dream, Wilbur, Technoblade, George, Eret, and eleven others.**

**Dream:** Was this really necessary 

**George:** Yes.

**Technoblade:** What’s this for then-

**Dream:** Well I was planning to tell people individually

**George:** Go big or go home

**Wilbur:** Oh, is this about. What you told me **@Dream**

**Dream:** Yeah

**Wilbur:** Oh

**Karl:** that being??

**Tommy:** why am i even here

**Tubbo:** Dream we have spoken to you once so far this year WHY ARE WE HERE

**Dream:** Well,

**Bad:** Yeah what is going on with you?

**Dream:** GEORGE IS THE ONE WHO MADE THIS GROUP

**George:** Yeah for an announcement

**Fundy:** For an announcement???

**George:** Yes and

**Quackity:** he’s gonna announce that they’re dating lmao

**George:** Actually,

**Dream:** :)

**Quackity:** I WAS FUCKING JOKING BUT OKAY

**Fundy:** O h

**Niki:** Congratulations!!

**Sapnap:** DUDE WHAT

**Karl:** oh pog!

**Sapnap: @Dream** DM ME NOW

***Tommy left the group message***

\--

**A R S O N -- > ANYTHING ELSE**

**A R S O N:** DREAM

**ANYTHING ELSE:** SAPNAP WE ARE NOT ACTUALLY DATING

**A R S O N:** EXCUSE ME????

**ANYTHING ELSE:** where are you, it’d be way easier to explain via a call

**A R S O N:** i’m at home??

**ANYTHING ELSE:** W h y

**A R S O N:** migraine this morning. karl's been sending me pictures of puppies to cope

**ANYTHING ELSE:** oh valid, I’ll talk quietly

***ANYTHING ELSE started a call***

\--

**Family Groupchat :D**

**Wilbur:** I HATE IT HERE

**Phil:** You okay?

**Wilbur:** That was meant to be to Niki whoops

**Techno:** Are you alright though?

**Wilbur:** I’m fine yeah I was just being over dramatic

**Tommy:** you good big man

**Wilbur:** Jesus even Tommy??

**Tommy:** the fuck does that mean

**Phil:** Wil, we can hear you blasting Ricky Montgomery from your room, and you only ever play that when you’re sad.

**Tommy:** don’t get out your guitar that means you’re really sad

**Wilbur:** I will get out my guitar if I want??

**Techno:** Hey Wil, unrelated note, wanna go to the park?

**Tommy:** i have extra money can i come if I buy pizza

**Phil:** Aren’t you lucky that you’re not grounded anymore?

**Wilbur:** Yeah that sounds pretty decent. Can Niki and Fundy come?

**Techno:** Sure, idc.

**Phil:** Be safe if you’re driving, home before eight, please.

**Wilbur:** Yeah yeah

**Techno:** We can do that

**Tommy:** i’m not letting anyone buy pineapple on pizza with my money though

**Wilbur:** But that’s Niki’s favourite :((

**Tommy:** well

**Wilbur:** :((((((((((((  
  


 **Tommy:** fine niki and only niki can get pineapple

**Wilbur:** :D!

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

***Dream removed Eret***

**Dream: @Everyone** new bet, is Eret actually royalty?

\--

**Royal Family_TM**

**King:** I’ve got a slight feeling I’ve been found out

***Prince sent screenshot.1***

**Prince:** Yes but also no

**King:** Fundy what the fuck how did this happen

**Prince:** IDK MAN

**QUEEN NIKI:** I’m not in the betting groupchat, this doesn’t look good

**King:** So, how are we gonna fix this?

**QUEEN NIKI:** I have an idea.

**Prince:** Oh do share

***QUEEN NIKI started a group call***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eret Niki and Fundy plot pog??


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone wanted some more Ranboo, so i hope this is sufficient :D
> 
> this chapter we're talking about hybrids so hopefully this answers some questions people might've had lmao
> 
> (CWs: mentions of child abandonment, food)

**Teenagers by MCR:**

***Tombourine sent havingfunwithoutyou.jpg***

**Tombourine:** my awful brother is forcing me to learn the guitar with him

**Tombourine:** this is really just truly terrible

**Tombourine:** i managed to escape use my time wisely

**Tuberculosis:** Your weekend could be worse

**Tuberculosis:** My dad and my cousin are fighting cause she dyed her hair rainbow. idk why Puffy looks so cool with it

**Ranboi:** Wait

**Ranboi:** Puffy is your cousin??

**Ranboi:** As in the senior that runs the study group??

**Tuberculosis:** Uh yeah? Did you not know??

**Ranboi:** How the hell was I meant to know

**Tuberculosis:** We’re both sheep hybrids??

**Ranboi:** I don’t automatically assume people are related just cause they’re both hybrids!!

**Tombourine:** yeah tubbo

**Tombourine:** also why does your dad care about what your cousin does

**Tuberculosis:** She’s over a lot?? Idk why does my dad do anything

**Tombourine:** true

**Ranboi:** So the hybrid thing

**Ranboi:** Apparently Dream is a hybrid? That guy that added us to that gc about his new boyfriend or whatever

**Ranboi:** I’ve been trying to learn about other hybrids because

**Ranboi:** Yk

**Tombourine:** your mysterious backstory or w/e

**Ranboi:** Yes exactly

**Ranboi:** You two know Dream way better than I so

**Ranboi:** Is he??

**Tuberculosis:** No idea

**Tombourine:** I’M probably more of a hybrid than dream tbh

**Tuberculosis:** What if you’re just a late bloomer huh

**Tuberculosis:** I only recently got my horns remember

**Tombourine:** i mean

**Tombourine:** probably fuckin not

**Tuberculosis:** Your bio parents could’ve been

**Tombourine:** my bio parents also left me on a street corner so

**Ranboi:** Wanna change the subject?

**Tombourine:** please

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah my bad

**Tombourine:** wouldn’t it be weird if like all hybrids were related though

**Tombourine:** would that mean Quackity would also be my brother

**Ranboi:** Oh yeah, your dad is an avian too right?

**Tombourine:** yep. he tried to feed me literal seeds as a kid

**Ranboi:** Excuse me?

**Tuberculosis:** He means sunflower seeds, Philza has a load of them for snacks.

**Tombourine:** phil eats so many fuckin sunflower seeds

**Tuberculosis:** Tommy you also eat those sunflower seeds

**Tombourine:** yeah cause they’re good

**Tuberculosis:** We actually eat a lot of salad, we can’t eat a lot of meat or we get sick :(

**Ranboi:** Oh yikes :(((

**Ranboi:** So who are the other hybrids in school?

**Tuberculosis:** I mean there’s a lot

**Tuberculosis:** You mean the people we know?

**Tombourine:** uhh dad speaks about Quackity sometimes at home because of Avian shit

**Tuberculosis:** so Philza Minecraft, Quackity,

**Ranboi:** WAIT HOLD UP

**Ranboi:** HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE

**Tombourine:** oh shit you didn’t know did you

**Ranboi:** YOUR DAD IS MR MINECRAFT???

**Tuberculosis:** How did you not know this

**Tombourine:** you’ve literally been to my house

**Ranboi:** AND I’M FAIRLY SURE THE ONLY OTHER PERSON THERE WAS WILBUR

**Tombourine:** oh yeah

**Ranboi:** I am learning so much today

**Tuberculosis:** Moving on,

**Tuberculosis:** Other hybrids. So avians are just Philza and Quackity?

**Tombourine:** i mean no but do we really care about anyone else

**Tombourine:** i like big q he’s annoyed techno so many times

**Tuberculosis:** True! Me and Puffy are the only sheep hybrids (that we care about)

**Ranboi:** This is great info keep it coming, I wanna ask people about being a hybrid and stuff

**Tombourine:** look at you being resourceful and shit

**Tombourine:** fundy is a fox

**Tuberculosis:** Is Technoblade a pig or a piglin hybrid?

**Tombourine:** piglin. his own words “im too cool to be just a pig” which is bullshit

**Ranboi:** Anyone else?

**Tuberculosis:** Puffy’s friend Sam is a creeper hybrid

**Ranboi:** Oooh

**Tombourine:** there’s that eret person wilbur used to be friends with, theyre related to herobrine apparently does that count

**Ranboi:** Herobrine? Why is that familiar

***Tuberculosis sent screenshot.1***

***Tuberculosis sent screenshot.2***

***Tuberculosis sent screenshot.3***

**Tuberculosis:** Herobrine is a fuckin mythological figure according to wikipedia how is Eret related to him??

**Ranboi:** What the hell

**Tombourine:** so were they bullshitting

**Tuberculosis:** No they genuinely have all white eyes, it’s why they wear sunglasses all the time, so the light doesn’t hurt them

**Tombourine:** why do you just know this

**Tuberculosis:** I know a lot of things

**Ranboi:** Uh guys

**Ranboi:** I looked it up and apparently this kinda small country’s royal family is related to Herobrine?

**Tuberculosis:** Oh yeah the betting gc has that bet going on

**Tombourine:** the what

**Ranboi:** Excuse me?

**Tuberculosis:** There’s a groupchat for bets. The last one they did was over Wilbur’s height

**Tombourine:** WHY DO YOU KNOW THIS

**Tuberculosis:** I KNOW THINGS

**Tuberculosis:** Anyway the most recent bet is whether or not Eret is actually royalty

**Tombourine:** do any of you know their surname we gotta look this up

**Tuberculosis:** Nope

**Ranboi:** Not at all

**Tombourine:** then it will remain a mystery

**Tuberculosis:** Oh thank god Puffy is taking me out

**Tuberculosis:** Tommyyyyyyyy

**Tombourine:** yeah you can come over

**Ranboi:** Can I too?

**Tombourine:** sure idm

**Tombourine:** wilbur left to go hang out with niki so it’s just me and techno at home rn

**Tuberculosis:** Is he gonna stab us with his fencing swords again

**Tombourine:** probably only me

**Tuberculosis:** Awesome I’ll tell Puffy to drop me off

\--

**Royal Family_TM:**

**King:** Okay, so how are we going to pull this off? Cause Niki I like your idea of just saying I’m a doppelganger, but my eyes are kind of hard to explain away

**QUEEN NIKI:** Do you own contacts?

**King:** I’m not wearing contacts every single day

**Prince:** Well we can’t straight up tell everyone that you’re actually royalty

**King:** Obviously

**Prince:** …What if we said you’re a spy

**King:** What

**QUEEN NIKI:** Fundy

**Prince:** HEAR ME OUT

**Prince:** We say you infiltrated the royal family and that’s why you’re in so many pictures with them

**QUEEN NIKI:** Wouldn’t that mean they’re a bad spy if they’re in so many pictures?

**King:** Yeah I’d like to think I’d be a better spy than that

**King:** Although…

**QUEEN NIKI:** Oh?

**King:** It’s pretty common knowledge I’m rich right?

**QUEEN NIKI:** I’d say so

**Prince:** Yeah

**King:** What if I said we just know the royal family? 

**Prince:** Like you’re just friends with them?

**King:** Yeah!

**QUEEN NIKI:** That could work!

**Prince:** But don’t a lot of articles name you? And what about the eyes thing

**King:** Actually no

**King:** I’m only in like wide group shots because the king is like my second or third cousin, so I’m not important enough to be in the main family shots

**QUEEN NIKI:** Yeah you’re like 8th in line aren’t you?

**King:** Nope, 9th

**Prince:** Well then. But the EYES Eret

**King:** There are people who are Herobrine desendents who aren't royalty. 

**QUEEN NIKI:** What if that's why you're friends with them?

**King:** YES THANK YOU NIKI YOU GENIUS

**Prince:** So you’re just friendly with the royal family and ended up in some pictures? That’s the lie we’re going with?

**King:** Hell yeah

**QUEEN NIKI:** Awesome!

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Fundy:** I’ll bet a whole diamond on Eret not being royalty at all

**Dream:** DAMN

**Skeppy:** HOLY SHIT OKAY

**Skeppy: @Dream** CAN I CHANGE MY BET? IF FUNDY IS SO SURE

**Dream:** no suffer

**Skeppy:** i hate you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bets going down !!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> post chatfic to ignore current canon oh my gOD
> 
> Notes: not really a note but if you have a question about anything i reply to most comments so feel free to ask away!
> 
> (CWs: painkillers mentioned and discussed)

**Wil owo -- > Niki uwu:**

**Wil owo:** Niki I hate this

**Niki uwu:** I know :(

**Niki uwu:** Where are you right now?

**Wil owo:** In study hall

**Wil owo:** They’re sat together and keep laughing about something

**Wil owo:** Why am I upset over this?? Theyre not even doing coupley shit they’re just TALKING

**Niki uwu:** Do you want me to answer that honestly?

**Wil owo:** No not really

**Niki uwu:** Fair

**Niki uwu:** I’m in free period right now, I can talk about something to distract you if you want?

**Wil owo:** No I’ll just feel worse if I distract myself

**Wil owo:** Because I’m annoying like that

**Niki uwu:** You’re not annoying

**Niki uwu:** You know, I don’t even know the full story with you and Dream

**Wil owo:** As you should

**Niki uwu:** I just know you two used to date, now you’re just friends, and now George and Dream are a thing?

**Wil owo:** Yep that’s pretty much it

**Wil owo:** No one else knows about us though. Well George and Sapnap know and I’d be surprised if Techno and Tommy didn’t put it together

**Niki uwu:** And me.

**Wil owo:** And you.

**Wil owo:** But it feels really weird?? Because they only announced they were together like immediately after this??

***Wil owo sent screenshot.1***

**Wil owo:** Like I don’t think just changing a nickname is enough to spur on a whole relationship but??

**Niki uwu:** Huh.

**Niki uwu:** That’s… a little weird?

**Niki uwu:** But I don’t think they’d get into a relationship just to spite you

**Wil owo:** Okay thank god I knew I was being overdramatic

**Wil owo:** Oh brb my son just walked in

**Niki uwu:** Oh we’re still doing the ‘Fundy is your son’ joke from last year?

**Wil owo:** Idkwym he’s always been my son completely legally

\--

**XD -- > Zzz:**

**XD:** I have never had to fake a relationship before do you think we’re being convincing

**Zzz:** I’m not kissing you just because Wilbur is here

**XD:** THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID

**Zzz:** And you’re only saying that because Wilbur is here

**XD:** IT IS NOT BECAUSE WILBUR IS HERE

**Zzz:** We started a fake relationship because your ex flirted jokingly with you once and you panicked

**Zzz:** It’s because Wilbur is here

**XD:** I don’t like you

**Zzz:** Sure you don’t

**Zzz:** Anyway how’s the betting going

**XD:** You’re literally in the gc

**Zzz:** I can’t be asked to keep up

**XD:** Fair. Everyone is really convinced that Eret is like next in line for the throne or sth but Fundy is like adamant they’re not

**Zzz:** Okay, question, how are you gonna find out if they are

**XD:** Probably just look them up?

**Zzz:** You know their surname?

**XD:** …wait no

**XD:** What’s their goddamn surname??

**Zzz:** Idk man

**Zzz:** Ask the betting gc someone probably knows

**XD:** Alright alright

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** (For bet purposes, serious answers only) Does anyone know Eret’s surname?? :)

**Skeppy:** Eret has a surname??

**Bad:** Uh nope

**Punz:** Uhhhhh no actually

**Fundy:** …I do not?? Why don’t I know this

**Quackity:** I have no idea

**Karl:** ^^^

**Sapnap:** Wait does no one know Eret’s surname

**Puffy:** Hang on isn’t it like King or something

**Sam:** No that was a joke started in like freshman year, that’s why everyone thinks they’re royalty

**Sam:** Also I don’t know for the record

**Dream:** …RIGHT THEN

**Dream:** That's useful jesus christ

**Karl:** are you being sarcastic

**Dream:** Take a wild guess Karl

\--

**Dream <3 --> Wilbur </3:**

**Dream <3:** Hey Wilby random question do you know Eret’s surname? :)

**Dream <3: ****Wilbur sorry

_Seen_

\--

**Dream -- > Technoblade:**

**Dream:** Hey Techno do you know Eret’s surname? :)

**Technoblade:** No

**Dream:** Alright thank you for your time

\--

**Dream -- > Niki:**

**Dream:** Hi Niki, do you by any chance know what Eret’s surname is? :)

**Niki:** Hi Dream! I’m sorry, I don’t.

**Dream:** Alright thank you!

\--

**XD -- > Zzz:**

**XD:** Literally nobody knows

**Zzz:** That. Cannot be true

***XD sent screenshot.1***

***XD sent screenshot.2***

**XD:** no one in the betting gc knows

**XD:** so I dmd people outside of it

***XD sent screenshot.3***

***XD sent screenshot.4***

***XD sent screenshot.5***

**XD:** NO ONE KNOWS??

**Zzz:** Could ask Wilbur’s other brother and his friends

**XD:** They literally started this school two weeks ago

**Zzz:** And?

**XD:** They’re not gonna know!!

**XD:** We’ve been at the same school with them for 4 years and we still don’t know!!

**Zzz:** That’s a valid point

**XD:** Of course it’s a valid point you dumbass

**Zzz:** Hey I’m colourblind that’s discrimination

**XD:** It is literally not

**Zzz:** It literally is

**Zzz:** Stop ignoring meeeeee

**Zzz:** Dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaam

\--

**Tommy -- > Philza (Dad):**

**Tommy:** hey phil

**Tommy:** do you have any painkillers in your classroom

**Philza (Dad):** Yes I have some, what’s up?

**Tommy:** my back’s going again

**Tommy:** i asked techno but he didn’t have any left

**Philza (Dad):** I’ll get some out, you can come during lunch. It’s soon, right?

**Tommy:** yeah leaving for it now

**Philza (Dad):** I’ve got two here, do you want the regular stuff or my specific stuff?

**Tommy:** your specific stuff, works better

**Philza (Dad):** Huh. Interesting.

**Tommy:** what

**Philza (Dad):** I’m just surprised. Normally it only works for me.

**Tommy:** well im just special aren’t i

**Philza (Dad):** Sure. I can see you outside, I’ll get the door.

\--

**Phil -- > Techno:**

**Phil:** Tech, because you three are home before me, can you go and get that big hybrid book for me? Don’t let Tommy or Wilbur see.

**Techno:** I can do that. But am I in trouble?

**Phil:** No, I’ve just been having some thoughts.

**Techno:** That’s not suspicious at all but okay dad.

**Phil:** Was the ‘dad’ sarcastic?

**Techno:** Mildly.

**Techno:** Okay, we’re in the car, I’ll see if I can convince Wilbur and Tommy to go out whilst I get it.

**Phil:** Thank you, Techno.

\--

**Skeppy -- > Eret:**

**Skeppy:** eret

**Eret:** Skeppy?

**Eret:** Why are you dming me?

**Skeppy:** are you royalty

**Eret:** Ah.

**Eret:** Do you want the truth?

**Skeppy:** pls i can’t lose this bet

**Skeppy:** bad will bully me

**Eret:** I cannot imagine Bad bullying anyone

**Skeppy:** you don’t know him like i do

**Skeppy:** we have two children together eret

**Eret:** Excuse me?

**Skeppy:** we had to look after a plant for a science project last year and we just kinda never got out of the habit of switching it between houses

**Skeppy:** her name is Amanda

**Eret:** That’s the first time I’ve ever seen you capitalize anything

**Skeppy:** she’s important to me

**Eret:** Who’s the other child??

**Skeppy:** we already had shared custody of Amanda and bad adopted sapnap so ig im coparent by default

**Eret:** Ah of course

**Skeppy:** but enough about my family are you or are you not legit royalty

\--

**Royal Family_TM:**

***King sent screenshot.1***

**King:** IT’S GO TIME

**Prince:** LESSGOOOO

**QUEEN NIKI:** Woo!!

\--

**Skeppy -- > Eret:**

**Eret:** Lmao no

**Skeppy:** so how are you in all these pictures w/ the royal fam??

**Eret:** Alright technically I am a descendent of Herobrine like the rest of the royal family, so that’s why the eyes are the same, but it goes so far back that technically genetically speaking we’re strangers

**Skeppy:** yeah but why are you in the pictures

**Eret:** Well my family is really rich, as I’m assuming everyone knows, so because of that AND the Herobrine thing we’re just close friends with the royal family. That’s why I’m in some of those pictures, I was there for a wedding.

**Skeppy:** ooooooooh

**Skeppy:** huh okay ty

**Eret:** Yw?

\--

**Royal Family_TM:**

***King sent screenshot.1***

***King sent screenshot.2***

**King:** How’d I do?

**QUEEN NIKI:** Amazing!

**Prince:** Holy shit we might pull this off

\--

**Skeppy -- > Dream:**

***Skeppy sent screenshot.1***

***Skeppy sent screenshot.2***

***Skeppy sent screenshot.3***

**Skeppy:** okay heres ur proof can i p l s change my bet now

**Dream:** Yes, yes you may

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently i woke up today and said cryptid Eret rights


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL THIS IS GONNA END UP MY MOST POPULAR FIC EVER SDFGHJ Y'ALL REALLY LOVE THIS HUH?? TYSM 
> 
> Notes: Techno calls the voices in his head 'The Chatter' or just Chatter or Chat for short :]
> 
> (CWs: mentions of auditory hallucinations, jumping out of a window (actually happens), broken bones, fire, burns, and food)  
> This chapter is wild if you couldn't tell

**Family Groupchat :D:**

**Techno:** Has anyone seen my

**Techno:** The

**Techno:** Oh my god I can’t think my headphones

**Wilbur:** You need your headphones?

**Techno:** Yes the big noise cancelling ones

**Techno:** Chatter is SO LOUD right now

**Dadza:** Do you need anything else?

**Dadza:** Who changed my fucking nickname?!

**Tommy:** that was me but **@Techno** im making food rn do you want any

**Techno:** Depends what is it

**Tommy:** mushroom stew

**Techno:** Yeah alright

**Techno:** WHEN I CAN FIND MY HEADPHONES WHERE ARE THEY

**Wilbur:** Checking my room rn

**Tommy:** ill look in the kitchen cause i’m in here i guess

**Dadza:** I’ll check my room.

**Techno:** They’re not in my room at all before anyone asks

**Wilbur:** FOUND THEM

**Techno:** Oh my god thank uou

**Techno:** *you

**Techno:** Wow I am out of it

**Tommy:** THE KITCHEN

**Dadza:** What?

**Tommy:** KITCHEN

**Tommy:** KITCHEN FIRE FIRE IN THE KITCHEN

**Dadza:** WHAT THE FUCK?

**Wilbur:** UM

**Wilbur:** TECHNO GET OUTSIDE I’LL RUN THESE OVER TO YOU

**Techno:** Uh.

**Techno:** Might’ve panicked.

**Techno:** Because Chatter is really loud.

**Wilbur:** What did you fucking do

**Techno:** I jumped out of the window and now my leg is bent in the wrong direction. Mildly.

**Wilbur:** YOU FUCKING WHAT

**Dadza:** Everyone get in the car we’re going to the fucking hospital

**Techno:** Dad I literally cannot move.

**Wilbur:** Oh shit he called you dad it’s serious

**Dadza:** The fire was tiny but Tommy has probably burnt his hands, so we’re going anyway. Wil, can you go and look after Tommy whilst I go pick up Techno and put him in the car?

**Wilbur:** Yeah I can jesus christ

**Wilbur:** New rule no letting Tommy into the kitchen without fire res potions

\--

**Teenagers by MCR:**

***Tombourine sent ilivedbitch.png***

**Tuberculosis:** WHAT

**Ranboi:** WHY ARE YOU IN THE HOSPITAL

**Ranboi:** WHY IS TECHNO ALSO IN HOSPITAL

**Tuberculosis:** WHY ARE YOU ALL IN THE HOSPITAL

**Tombourine:** WELL

**Tombourine:** the chatter was really loud for techno and we needed to find his headphones for him

**Ranboi:** The chatter?

**Tombourine:** what he calls the voices in his head. auditory hallucinations or w/e

**Ranboi:** Huh. Okay

**Tombourine:** yeah and they get really loud sometimes and that makes him upset, so we were all looking for his headphones

**Tombourine:** and i was in the kitchen because i was making food, so i went to go look in cupboards and shit because dad puts things in weird places

**Tombourine:** and i got really frustrated because i kept knocking shit over, so i gave up and went back to my stew and i knocked it over. so as you do i got really mad and then there was just. a fire in the sink

**Ranboi:** What

**Tuberculosis:** What

**Tombourine:** my hands were right in it as well but i’m not burnt at all??

**Tombourine:** oh and techno is here because when i yelled about fire he panicked and jumped out of the window and broke his leg

**Tuberculosis:** WHAT

**Ranboi:** HE COULD’VE DIED

**Tombourine:** technoblade never dies istg

**Tombourine:** the amount of near death experiences he’s had vs the amount of times he’s actually died are far from equal

**Ranboi:** You are so concerningly calm about this??

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah are you like?? Okay??

**Tombourine:** they just gave me a bunch of fire res pots and told Phil i shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen alone for a bit

**Tuberculosis:** UNDERSTANDABLY

**Ranboi:** What about Technoblade? Is he okay??

**Tombourine:** he’s fine he’s just gonna be worse than usual because he can’t do fencing practice anymore

**Tombourine:** one sec wilbur wants to look at my hands again

**Tombourine:** the doctors literally said theyre fine smh

**Ranboi:** I mean that’s understandable, normally when you put your hands in fire they get burnt

**Tombourine:** i’m just built different

\--

**Sheep Pasture:**

**Tubbo:** Dad can I go over to Tommy’s place? Like right now?

**Schlatt:** Why

**Tubbo:** He’s just gotten out of hospital can I go and check he’s okay?

**Puffy:** Oh my god is he alright??

**Tubbo:** He’s fine but he’s all shaken up

**Schlatt:** Sure

**Tubbo:** THANK YOU

**Schlatt:** I’m not driving you though

**Puffy:** I will, give me a second and I’ll be over

**Tubbo:** Thank you Puffy :D

\--

**The Dream Team:**

**Snapchat:** HELP

**Snapchat:** HELP HELP HELP

**Gogy:** ARE YOU OKAY

**Dré:**????????

**Dré:** what’s going on

**Muffinhead:** Is everything alright??

***Snapchat sent HESASLEEPONME.png***

**Snapchat:** KARL CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE TO OLAY VIDEO GAMES AND WE ENDED UP WATCHING MOVIES HE IS ALSEEP ON ME

**Dré:** Awww

**Gogy:** Oh good for you!!

**Snapchat:** THIS IS NTO BAD BUT ALSO I’M VERY OIKAY WITH IT

**Muffinhead:** I think you need to calm down a little bit.

**Muffinhead:** But this is good news!! You have a crush on Karl don’t you?

**Snapchat:** YES. YES THIS IS WHY THIS IS BAD

**Dré:** Okay I am genuinely confused why is this a bad thing

**Snapchat:** what if he wakes up and is like all grossed out??

**Gogy:** Why would he be grossed out?? You’re perfectly clean as far as I’m aware

**Dré:** And we all know Karl is basically head over heels for you

**Muffinhead:** This is sounding like a complete win-win situation

**Snapchat:** ,,,y’think?

**Dré:** More like I KNOW

**Gogy:** Go have a nap with your beloved

**Snapchat:** okay okay

**Snapchat:** gnight ig

**Muffinhead:** Goodnight!!

**Dré:** Gn!

\--

**Duckface -- > Dogboy:**

**Duckface:** Karllllll where are you

**Duckface:** come on I’ve been waiting

***Dogboy sent hesasleepsorry.png***

**Dogboy:** sorry its sapnap, karl’s asleep rn

**Duckface:** on you??

**Dogboy:** lmao yeah it’s cute

**Duckface:** ah alright then

**Duckface:** sleep well to both of you ig

\--

**Big Q -- > Big T:**

**Big Q** : Tommy I am going to need to borrow your brother

**Big T:** which one

**Big Q:** Technoblade. I need a man dead

**Big T:** uh he’s currently out of action big man

**Big Q:** what why

**Big T:** jumped out a window innit

**Big Q:** I

**Big Q:** sure

**Big Q:** either way I need someone dead can you help me

**Big T:** probably who is it

**Big Q:** sapnap

**Big T:** why sapnap??

**Big Q:** so many reasons

**Big T:** i’m gonna need some actual ones before i help you

**Big Q:** he stole Karl from me :,(

**Big T:** who

**Big Q:** oh my god you’re eating with the juniors tomorrow

**Big Q:** …which includes Sapnap ffs

**Big T:** god i do not care about your romantic troubles

**Big T:** i set my house on fire today i have bigger problems

**Big Q:** you did what

**Big Q:** Tommy???

**Big Q:** TOMMY???

**Big Q:** THESEUS INNIT????

**Big Q:** oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** Bet is happening on Wednesday, beginning of lunchtime, 2nd music practice room.

**George:** Why do you keep picking places Wilbur is definitely going to be if you don’t want him in on the bets

**Dream:** Idfk. Maybe I’m secretly longing for his attention

**Sapnap:** **@George** come get your man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wonder what's up with Tommy? :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *throws this at the theorists*
> 
> (CWs: discussion of fire, burning, vomiting, and food mentions)

**The Dream Team:**

**Dré:** Wilbur is in the music practice room this is the opposite of helpful

**Dré:** I’m gonna go tell him to leave

**Gogy:** I’m nearly there hang on

**Gogy:** Oh come on he’s already inside

**Snapchat:** rip

**Gogy:** Wait does he know I’m here

**Gogy:** OH SHIT CLEARLY NOT

**Snpachat:** ???

***Gogy sent THEYREFUCKINGKISSING.jpg***

**Snapchat:** WHAT

**Gogy:** THEY’RE LITERALLY KISSING THIS WAS NOT THE PLAN

**Snapchat:** IS THIS TO DO WITH HOW YOU TWO ARE FAKE DATING

**Gogy:** MAYBE??? I DON'T KNOW

**Muffinhead:** What the heck did I just walk in on

**Gogy:** Chaos

**Muffinhead:** And I will now be going back to homework.

**Snapchat:** ur so valid

**Gogy:** SHIT WILBUR IS COMING OUT

**Snapchat:** HIDE

**Gogy:** HIDING NOW

**Gogy:** GOD HE IS NOT GONNA STOP FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS IS HE

**Snapchat:** DEFINITELY NOT OH MY GOD

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

**Dream:** Music room, now.

**Sapnap:** DM US RIGHT NOW YOU FUCKER

**Quackity:** oooo drama

**Karl:** hey q we should've brought popcorn

\--

**The Dream Team:**

**Dré:** So

**Snapchat:** EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW BEFORE EVERYONE GETS HERE

**Dré:** Over text??

**Gogy:** Do you WANT someone to come in and overhear??

**Dré:** Okay fair :)

**Gogy:** Okay first question WHY DID HE KISS YOU

**Dré:** Uh technically I kissed him

**Snapchat:** AS IF THAT MATTERS

**Dré:** I mean if you wanted me to be specific

**Snapchat:** answer me straight up, why did you kiss him

**Dré:** I,,, don’t know? 

**Gogy:** OH GOD I JUST REMEMBERED HE DOESN’T KNOW OUR RELATIONSHIP IS FAKE

**Dré:** Oh shit yeah

**Dré:** He thinks I’m a dirty cheater now huh

**Snapchat:** so you don’t know why you kissed him

**Dré:** No I do not :)

**Dré:** It just kinda happened

**Gogy:** Alllllllright this is,, not good!!

**Snapchat:** jesus christ you two only started ‘dating’ because dream completely is not over his ex and then he goes and KISSES said ex??

**Dré:** That is what happened yes

**Gogy:** Wait how did he react

**Dré:** Why does it matter

**Gogy:** Because I’m secretly planning on getting you two back together to avoid drama

**Dré:** Very funny :)

\--

**Geroge -- > Napsack:**

**Geroge:** I am not joking that’s exactly what I’m planning

**Napsack:** oh my god i’m way too sleep deprived for you two

\--

**The Dream Team:**

**Dré:** Uhh okay so he kinda pulled away, and he was like, quiet, before saying like “oh shit you have a boyfriend” and then taking his guitar and he like RAN out

**Gogy:** At least your man has standards

**Snapchat:** he kissed dream when thinking he had a boyfriend

**Dré:** No tbf I kissed him

**Dré:** EITHER WAY IT DOESNT MATTER PEOPLE ARE HERE BET TIME

\--

**Desert Boyz:**

**Captain:** Where are you guys??

**Language:** I’m with Skeppy, we’re out in the field

**Short King:** can confirm

**Meow:** Weren’t you meant to be doing a betting thing today??

**Captain:** Ant it has gone horribly wrong

**Short King:** like impressively wrong

**AWESam:** I’m on the other side of the field from all of you hang on

**AWESam:** I hate surprise fire drills SO MUCH

**Meow:** **@Captain** how so

**Captain:** WELL

**Captain:** We were pooling money on the table, Fundy put down a whole diamond because he’s now rich somehow, Eret showed up which we weren’t expecting

**Captain:** And then??? Karl??? Somehow pulled out a birth certificate????? Which stated that Eret was given a whole royal title at birth??? Whatever the neutral version of a prince or princess is

**Meow:** Excuse me

**AWESam:** Yeah it was an experience

**Language:** I was not expecting that at all. Where did he even get that?

**Captain:** I have no idea

**Captain:** Dream then got really confused because he had screenshots confirming that Eret WASN’T royalty

**Captain:** And then Dream looked at his phone, yelled something about how Wilbur was being an idiot, then the fire alarm went off

**Meow:** You know how I decided to stay out of all of this? I am so glad I did

**Meow:** Wait does this mean that the fire alarm going off was like??? Related to the bet??

**Captain:** I mean PROBABLY??

**Short King:** i did so much for those screenshots smh

**Short King:** how did karl even get a birth certificate

**Language:** He probably made a fake one, Skeppy

**Captain:** Either that or he’s some kind of international thief

**AWESam:** Can you imagine?? He’s too nice

**Captain:** That’s what he wants you to think

**Short King:** ur falling into his trap sam

**Meow:** Crafty man that Karl Jacobs

\--

**Family Groupchat :D:**

**Dadza:** First, you all need to stop changing my nickname all the time.

**Dadza:** Second, just because the fire alarm went off doesn’t mean you three get to go home early, you might actually be staying late because I need to do extra paperwork now.

**Wilbur:** Actually we’re going home early anyway

**Wilbur:** For actual reasons though

**Dadza:** Uh care to share why?

**Wilbur:** Techno’s leg and head are hurting and Tommy VOMITED FIRE

**Tommy:** it was fucking weird

**Dadza:** Excuse me?!

**Tommy:** it just kind of happened

**Tommy:** and now my throat hurts

**Dadza:** I CAN IMAGINE?!

**Dadza:** Wait, Tommy.

**Tommy:** yes, adoptive father figure?

**Dadza:** Did you set off the fire alarm?

**Tommy:** maybe

**Tommy:** it wasn’t on purpose though i promise

**Tommy:** please don’t be mad

**Dadza:** I’m not angry, Tommy.

**Wilbur:** Yeah we're all a little shaken up

**Wilbur:** So is it okay if we leave early?

**Dadza:** Go ahead.

**Dadza:** I’ll sign you out.

\--

**Philza (Dad) -- > Tommy:**

**Philza (Dad):** Tommy, are you at home yet?

**Tommy:** yes

**Tommy:** am i in trouble

**Philza (Dad):** No, not at all.

**Philza (Dad):** Tommy, can you answer some questions for me?

**Tommy:** ,,okay

**Philza (Dad):** First, are you okay? Are you breathing fine?

**Tommy:** i’m ok i guess

**Tommy:** i’m not having a panic attack i’m just all shaky cause i don’t normally vomit fire yk

**Philza (Dad):** Okay, I just wanted to check. And remember, I'm not angry at you, I'm just curious.

**Philza (Dad):** Tommy, do you know why you spit fire?

**Tommy:** i’m gonna take a wild guess and say i’m a hybrid and no one knew

**Philza (Dad):** Yes, probably. I’m just trying to figure out a hybrid of what specifically.

**Philza (Dad):** Did you feel any emotions really strongly before you spit fire?

**Tommy:** wilbur was going on about something i didn’t care about whilst i was trying to talk to tubbo

**Tommy:** i got really annoyed and then my throat hurt a bit and then i was like dribbling fire

**Philza (Dad):** Alright.

**Philza (Dad):** Well, Tommy, here’s what I’ve got; you respond to painkillers tailored towards hybrids better than for humans, you seemingly have mild pyrokinesis and are relatively fireproof.

**Tommy:** right

**Philza (Dad):** So, I’ll be honest, you seem to be from the Nether?

**Tommy:** oh god i better not be actually related to techno

**Philza (Dad):** Considering you spit fire, I think you’re closer to a ghast than a piglin.

**Tommy:** wait does that mean i could fly???

**Philza (Dad):** Well, there’s also a mild possibility you could be a dragon hybrid.

**Tommy:** WHAT

**Philza (Dad):** But normally, horns and wings come in first, before any sort of fire abilities. Besides, you hardly have any other Ender traits.

**Tommy:** i mean i am tall

**Philza (Dad):** You’re 6’3, and your enderman hybrid friend, Ranboo isn’t it? He’s 8’5. A bit of a difference there.

**Tommy:** so you think i’m from the nether??

**Philza (Dad):** Potentially. Have you had any weird dreams lately?

**Tommy:** i mean, sorta. i'm like standing in lava but not burning sometimes. and sometimes i'm flying and on fire

**Philza (Dad):** Interesting. Tell Wilbur and Techno not to cook, I'm getting pizza for dinner. I think we all deserve it.

**Tommy:** POG

**Tommy:** i’m gonna go bother techno

**Tommy:** nvm i still feel sick

**Philza (Dad):** I’ll be home soon, don’t worry.

**Tommy:** thanks Phil

**Philza (Dad):** You’re welcome, Toms

\--

**Dream <3 --> Wilbur </3:**

**Dream <3:** Wilbur Soot-Minecraft

**Dream <3:** I am going to need several explanations from you

**Wilbur </3:** Tommy started the fire not me

**Dream <3:** What

**Wilbur </3:** This is the second time in three days he’s done this okay

**Dream <3: **I

**Dream <3:** WHAT?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i see you all in my comment section trying to figure out where i'm going w/ these plots, jokes on you, i don't know either


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fairly short chapter today lads, i'm back to irl school soon and that's gonna make me t i r e d so just expect inconsistent updates from me lmao
> 
> Notes: whilst only minecraft mobs are listed later in the chapter, hybrids are not limited by the game. however, they are considered rarer. for example, Quackity is a duck hybrid, which is considered rarer than let's say, Sam, who is a creeper hybrid. feel free to ask questions!
> 
> (CWs: mentions of fire and food because of Bad's nickname)

**Dream <3 --> Wilbur </3:**

**Dream <3:** Ignoring how Tommy is apparently setting more fires than Sapnap-

**Wilbur </3: **I mean Tommy isn’t doing it on purpose is it really comparable

**Dream <3:** Yes??

**Wilbur </3:** Anyway

**Wilbur </3:** So uh

**Wilbur </3:** How did the bet go?

**Dream <3:** The fire alarm going off was the best thing that happened I’ll be honest

**Wilbur </3:** Oh that’s good

**Wilbur </3:** I think

**Dream <3:** So uh new question

**Dream <3:** you kissed me

**Wilbur </3:** You kissed me??

**Dream <3:** well you kissed me back!!

**Wilbur </3:** You have a boyfriend??? Why the hell did you kiss me??

**Dream <3:** I DON’T KNOW

**Dream <3:** IT JUST REMINDED ME OF WHEN WE USED TO SNEAK OFF TOGETHER IN THERE

**Wilbur </3:** Oh was I just too beautiful to resist or some shit

**Dream <3:** I mean yeah kinda

**Wilbur </3:** DREAM

**Wilbur </3:** YOU LITERALLY HAVE A BOYFRIEND

**Dream <3:** I mean. George knows

**Wilbur </3:** I hope he’s fucking mad at you because what the hell

**Dream <3:** Wil…

**Wilbur </3:** Dream jesus christ do you hear yourself

**Wilbur </3:** You don’t get to fuck around with my emotions OR George’s that’s just cruel to him

**Dream <3:** I’m not?? Fucking around??? with your emotions??

**Wilbur </3:** No, no, fucking listen to me

**Wilbur </3:** Go apologise to George or break up with him already if all you’re going to do is chase your ex

**Wilbur </3:** And don’t fucking flirt or kiss me when you have a boyfriend and everyone KNOWS you have a boyfriend because that’s a shitty thing to do

**Wilbur </3:** I’m not letting you have some fucking sordid love affair with me just because you got bored again

**Dream <3:** That is,,, completely fair and I’m sorry

**Wilbur </3:** It’s not me you should be apologising to dickhead

**Wilbur </3:** And for the record you are still way too bitey when you kiss

***Dream was blocked by Wilbur***

\--

**The Dream Team:**

**Dré:** So

**Dré:** I talked to Wilbur

**Gogy:** How’d it go?

***Dré sent screenshot.1***

***Dré sent screenshot.2***

***Dré sent screenshot.3***

**Dré:** Not well?

**Gogy:** So he was mad at you for seemingly being a cheater?

**Dré:** yes

**Dré:** Somehow I think this has made me fall back in love with him

**Muffinhead:** As if you weren’t already.

**Gogy:** I mean Wilbur’s got standards we love to see it

**Snapchat:** holy shit he’s mad at you dude

**Dré:** Have I completely fucked my chances with him? Yeah

**Dré:** Am I definitely in love with my ex whilst he is incredibly mad at me? Also yes

**Snapchat:** oh god

**Snapchat:** he’s whipped

**Gogy:** Hey Sapnap how’s Karl doing?

**Snapchat:** fuck off

**Gogy:** I’m sorry reading that again – BITEY?

**Dré:** Uh

**Dré:** :)

**Snapchat:** i don’t wanna know i really don’t wanna know

**Gogy:** Do you bite people when you kiss them Dream???

**Dré:** Wouldn’t you like to know

**Gogy:** I regret asking

**Dré:** So. What now?

**Gogy:** I have no idea

\--

**Big Q -- > Big T:**

**Big Q:** TOMMY INNIT

**Big T:** big q

**Big Q:** I have conducted the perfect plan

**Big Q:** to win my best friend back

**Big T:** oh my god this again

**Big Q:** YES

**Big Q:** so as you know my dear Karlos has been stolen from me by Sapnap that scoundrel

**Big T:** unfortunately

**Big Q:** SO MY SECRET PLAN

**Big Q:** is to become sapnap’s new best friend

**Big Q:** and then when he trusts me with all his deepest darkest secrets i can expose the terrible things he probably does

**Big Q:** and Karl will pay attention to me again :D

**Big T:** big q if you’re so in love with karl just tell him

**Big Q:** WH

**Big Q:** I AM NOT ??? INLOVE WITH KARL

**Big T:** okay

**Big Q:** I AM LITERALLY NOT

**Big T:** okay idc

**Big Q:** jesus I am not in love with him

**Big Q:** he’s just my best friend and I miss him

**Big T:** yeah but quackity

**Big T:** it’s a bit of a fucked thing to do innit

**Big Q:** what?

**Big T:** like making up bad things about someone just cause you’re jealous

**Big Q:** but the idea wouldn’t be making things up, Sapnap has DEFINITELY got some fucked shit going on, I’m trying to save Karl here

**Big T:** what if he doesn’t

**Big Q:** but what if he does

**Big T:** i think you’re just jealous

**Big Q:** I’M NOT JEALOUS

**Big Q:** I’m just saying, if Sapnap IS secretly a murderer or something, I will find out before Karl does and it’ll all be fine

**Big Q:** did you dip on me again

**Big Q:** I cannot stress how annoying it is when you do this

\--

**Teenagers By MCR:**

**Tombourine:** so it turns out i’m a hybrid

**Tuberculosis:** Oh

**Tuberculosis:** Um congrats? Sorry I have no idea how to react to this

**Tombourine:** tbh neither do i

**Tuberculosis:** What kind?

**Ranboi:** Oh congrats!

**Ranboi:** And yeah what kind?

**Tombourine:** we don’t know

**Ranboi:** Oh same

**Tombourine:** all we know is that i can apparently spit fire and also have dreams about being on fire

**Ranboi:** Are you a Nether hybrid??

**Tombourine:** probably. might be a dragon

**Tuberculosis:** a DRAGON??

**Tombourine:** anything that’s fiery and can kinda fly is on the table rn

**Ranboi:** Oh should we make a list??

**Tuberculosis:** YES I LOVE LISTS

**Tombourine:** you have opinions on lists??

**Tuberculosis:** I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things

**Ranboi:** You ever forget that Tubbo is a creature of pure chaos?  
  


 **Tombourine:** not when he reminds us like this

**Tuberculosis:** Your standards for chaos are alarmingly low

**Tuberculosis:** Now can we actually make a list I am begging

**Tombourine:** sure

**Ranboi:** So flight, and fire

**Tombourine:** flight is debatable tbh

**Ranboi:** Alright alright

**Ranboi:** So we’ve got blazes, ghasts because you literally SPAT fire specifically, dragon apparently,

**Tuberculosis:** Magma cubes, striders maybe?

**Tuberculosis:** Anything else??

**Ranboi:** Nothing that I can think of. Tommy?

**Tombourine:** yeah nothing else really comes to mind

**Ranboi:** So these are our options, okay, cool

**Tombourine:** they’re all a bit shit aren’t they

**Ranboi:** No!! These are all super cool

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah!! Imagine if you were a blaze hybrid, that’d be sick

**Ranboi:** How you gonna call a dragon ‘shit’?? It’s a literal dragon.

**Tombourine:** ranboo you might be half dragon

**Ranboi:** I

**Ranboi:** That’s actually,

**Tuberculosis:** You good big man?

**Ranboi:** Tommy holy cow you might be onto something

**Ranboi:** Are any of you like available to go to the library right now

**Tuberculosis:** You mean at 7pm??

**Ranboi:** Yeah. That’s where I normally go for hybrid stuff

**Tombourine:** you have the internet

**Ranboi:** Yeah but then I’m missing out on the fun of doing frantic research with friends.

**Tuberculosis:** Unless-

***Tuberculosis started a call***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to quote my dear friend, "i think Wilbur and Tommy should be allowed to do arson."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: don't expect consistent chapters
> 
> also me: *posts consistently once again*
> 
> CWs: Q has a bit of a panic attack towards the end of this chapter, it's not discussed but it is mentioned

**Quackity -- > Sapnap:**

**Quackity:** uh hey

**Quackity:** you weren’t in chem this morning

**Sapnap:** oh shit no i was not

**Quackity:** we’re lab partners now

**Sapnap:** wait what? i’m always partners with karl

**Quackity:** yeah I know

**Quackity:** all the lab partners got shuffled around

**Quackity:** Karl is with Ant now

**Sapnap:** ah jesus

**Sapnap:** alright ty for letting me know

**Quackity:** yw

\--

**ANYTHING ELSE -- > A R S O N:**

**ANYTHING ELSE:** SAPNAP

**A R S O N:** dream

**ANYTHING ELSE:** THE FUCKING LAB PARTNERS GOT SHUFFLED

**A R S O N:** yeah ik

**A R S O N:** i’m w/ quackity now

**ANYTHING ELSE:** SAPNAP I AM PARTNERED WITH WILBUR

**A R S O N:** oh

**A R S O N:** oh that is not good

**ANYTHING ELSE:** why does the universe DESPISE ME

\--

**Dadbur -- > Sondy:**

**Dadbur:** Fundy I need your help

**Sondy:** With?

**Dadbur:** Okay so you know the drama w/ me and Dream right? The relationship stuff

**Sondy:** I know he has a boyfriend? Why you wish it was you or sth

**Dadbur:** Oh my god you don’t know

**Dadbur:** Okay long story short, Dream and me used to be a thing, we’re not anymore, he got together with George and then kissed me before the last bet went down

**Sondy:** …

**Sondy:** Holy shit, okay

**Dadbur:** So now I need your help

**Dadbur:** This could go so wrong so easily

**Sondy:** What are you planning

**Dadbur:** A fake relationship!

**Sondy:** What

**Dadbur:** I start talking about a girl that doesn’t exist, right? And the catch is you’ve also met her

**Dadbur:** We always joke about how you’re my son, so like, where is your mother, you know? This fake girl is her

**Sondy:** I - Wil

**Sondy:** You’re really doing the “she goes to another school” thing??

**Dadbur:** I am sleep deprived and have had way too much caffeine YES I’M DOING THIS

**Dadbur:** BUT BETTER

**Sondy:** Oh my god

**Dadbur:** First thing, what’s her name?

**Sondy:** I can ask my cousin if we can use her photos

**Sondy:** She’d find this hilarious

**Dadbur:** What’s your cousin’s name?

**Sondy:** Sally. She’s a salmon hybrid

**Dadbur:** She’d really be down for this??

**Sondy:** Hell yeah I’ll text her

**Dadbur:** HELL YES

**Dadbur:** The idea is if I show Dream that I’m in a relationship, so like not available OR interested, that he won’t try and flirt with me.

**Sondy:** Oh good idea

**Dadbur:** Like I don’t MIND that he kissed me yk

**Dadbur:** I’m just mad because he has a boyfriend and I thought he was better than that –

**Sondy:** Yeah I get that.

**Sondy:** I used to have a massive crush on him in freshman year tbh

**Dadbur:** Didn’t we all

***Sondy sent screenshot.1***

***Sondy sent Sallythesalmon.png***

**Dadbur:** OH MY GOD SHE’S DOWN???

**Sondy:** HELL YEAH SHE IS

**Dadbur:** Sidenote she is genuinely really pretty as well as an icon pls let her know

**Sondy:** Will do! :D!

**Dadbur:** God a fake relationship, this is wild

**Sondy:** So like

**Sondy:** If you don’t mind me asking, why’d you two split?

**Dadbur:** I’m,, not super sure

**Dadbur:** We didn’t really argue much

**Dadbur:** I’ll be real with you Funds I think he just got bored of me

**Sondy:** :(((

**Sondy:** I’m sorry Wil

**Dadbur:** It was like a year ago now dw about it

**Dadbur:** Hey wanna go to Niki’s house? Ranboo is bringing Tommy and I’m being dragged along too

**Sondy:** Fuck yeah !!

\--

**XD -- > Zzz:**

**XD:** We’re gonna have to break up

**Zzz:** Aw no we haven’t even had our first kiss yet

**Zzz:** Ur really breaking my heart here Dreamy

**XD:** Never call me that again oh my god

**Zzz:** :p

**Zzz:** Are you emo abt Wilbur

**XD:** No

**XD:** Maybe

**XD:** ,,yes

**Zzz:** As I suspected

**XD:** HE’S JUST

**XD:** UGH

**XD:** He’s so annoying. Like he is so annoying, and he’s so fucking self-righteous, and he dresses like a dork, right?? Like jesus and he’s ALWAYS playing an instrument?? Like you’re talented we get it

**XD:** Like it’s almost rude. And HAVE I MENTIONED THE WAY HE DRESSES

**XD:** Like I swear he wears way too baggy jeans on purpose. And all his sweaters have been oversized since like the beginning of time. And the most annoying thing is he knows he’s hot so like if he wore anything that actually fit him I’d fucking die and he knows it

**Zzz:** So rude of him

**XD:** RIGHT?? And he is gonna be a nightmare to work with in chem because he’s like smart and shit and he’s gonna get everything right and then BE NICE TO ME when I don’t, like just be condescending already, dickhead

**XD:** AND HE’S GONNA DO THAT WHILST HE’S MAD AT ME

**XD:** HE’S SO FUCKING PERFECT I HATE HIM

**Zzz:** God this is like when you two started dating but worse

**XD:** HE’S GOT MORALS.

**XD:** WHY IS THAT SO ATTRACTIVE TO ME

**XD:** HE’S MAD AT ME CAUSE OF THE MORALS

**Zzz:** Sucks to be you ig

**XD:** Hnnnnnnnnnng

**XD:** AND ANOTHER THING

**Zzz:** I'm going to bed Dream

**XD:** oh

**Zzz:** Feel free to continue though I'll read it back in the morning

**XD:** Have I mentioned you're the bestest friend in the entire world

**Zzz:** Yes but feel free to do it again

\--

**Geroge -- > Napsack:**

**Geroge:** WILBUR AND DREAM ARE LAB PARTNERS

**Napsack:** why do people keep telling me this

**Napsack:** i k n o w

**Geroge:** SAPNAP SAPNAP YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND

**Geroge:** THIS IS PERFECT FOR MY PLAN

**Napsack:** oh yeah you're like plotting to get them back together aren't you

**Geroge:** Yes

**Geroge:** This is going splendidly!!

**Napsack:** speaking of people getting together, i'm gonna try and shoot my shot

**Geroge:** With Karl?? 

**Napsack:** ye :>

**Geroge:** Gl!! I believe in you!!

\--

**Swirls -- > Spirals:**

**Spirals:** hey can i call u

**Swirls:** sure! what’s up

**Spirals:** nothing i just miss u :<

**Swirls:** AWWWW

**Spirals:** shut uuuup

**Swirls:** Sapnaaaaaaap

**Swirls:** I missed you too <3333

**Spirals:** nvm unstanning karl rn

**Swirls:** NO PLS

***Swirls started a call***

\--

**Duckface -- > Dogboy:**

**Duckface:** Karl are you online

**Duckface:** Karl I’m really not doing good right now

**Duckface:** like my breathing is all funny

**Duckface:** oh shit this is a panic attack isn’t it

**Duckface:** you said to call you during those didn’t you fuck

***Duckface started a call***

_The number you have dialled is currently occupied._

**Duckface:** Karl?

\--

**Teenagers by MCR:**

**Ranboi:** Ugh do we have redstone homework

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah >:/

**Tombourine:** yes

**Ranboi:** Ugggggggghhhhhhhh

**Ranboi:** Oh shit I just knocked my mug off my desk-

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah tails can be inconvienient

**Ranboi:** H. How did you even know it was my tail

**Ranboi:** You don’t even have a tail how-

**Tombourine:** are we really going to question why Tubbo does anything

**Ranboi:** True

**Tuberculosis:** Have you been okay today though? Your tail has been really droopy all day

**Ranboi:** EXCUSE ME?

**Tombourine:** no i noticed that too

**Ranboi:** You guys pay attention to what my tail does????

**Tombourine:** considering that u always wrap it around our wrists yeah

**Ranboi:** I DO WHAT

**Tuberculosis:** Oh my god

**Tuberculosis:** Did you not know

**Ranboi:** NO??? OH MY GOD THAT’S SO EMBARRASSING

**Tombourine:** i mean not really

**Tombourine:** we’re mates so your tail does weird stuff around us

**Tombourine:** because you’re comfy with us or sth

**Ranboi:** I am never gonna live this down oh my GOD

**Tuberculosis:** Nah it’s cute!! Idm

**Tombourine:** it’s also kinda useful

**Tombourine:** like i know if you want my attention or sth

**Tuberculosis:** True true

**Ranboi:** I mean Tubbo’s ears twitch when he’s emotional

**Tombourine:** lmao yeah they do

**Tuberculosis:** This is true

**Ranboi:** Your ears LITERALLY prick up whenever me or Tommy walks into class it’s great

**Tuberculosis:** **@Tombourine** when your hybrid traits start showing physically you better do something similar

**Tombourine:** as if i can control that dickhead

**Tuberculosis:** Is anything changing though?? Like physically

**Tuberculosis:** I had really horrible headaches before my horns came in

**Tombourine:** my back ig?? it never used to be this bad

**Ranboi:** Huh. Is it anywhere specific on your back or just in general?

**Tombourine:** my shoulder blades i think

**Tombourine:** idk it comes and goes

**Ranboi:** What do you think it could be??

**Tombourine:** no idea

**Tombourine:** dad’s calling gtg

**Ranboi:** Cya!

\--

**Napsack -- > Geroge:**

**Napsack:** i chickened out

**Napsack:** but we still talked for ages it was really nice 

**Napsack:** ik you're probably asleep rn but i tried!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *me aggressively reminding you all that this is a high school au*


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'ALL WE'RE NEARLY AT 1K KUDOS. I - THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. OH MY GOD.
> 
> Also theorists, here you all go *hands u this*
> 
> (CWs: mentions of a panic attack, painkillers)

**Philza (Dad) -- > Tommy:**

**Philza (Dad):** Tommy, Wil told me you’re not in school today?

**Tommy:** nope

**Philza (Dad):** Why?

**Tommy:** can’t get up

**Tommy:** back hurts too bad

**Tommy:** told wil and techno i felt sick and they bought it

**Philza (Dad):** Sorry, you’re in so much pain that you can’t move, and you didn’t call me?

**Tommy:** didn’t wanna be a bother

**Philza (Dad):** Oh Tommy, you couldn’t bother me if you tried. And this wouldn’t be bothering me, this is serious.

**Philza (Dad):** Do you want me to come home?

**Tommy:** no

**Philza (Dad):** Okay, different question. Tommy, have you eaten or drank anything today?

**Tommy:** yes

**Philza (Dad):** Theseus. Have you actually?

**Tommy:** ,,,no.

**Tommy:** haven’t been able to get up at all

**Philza (Dad):** I’m coming home.

**Tommy:** noooooo

**Philza (Dad):** Yessssss, actually.

**Philza (Dad):** I’ll get you some painkillers.

\--

**Family Groupchat :D:**

***Dadza sent wings.jpg***

**Dadza:** So, should we throw a ‘Happy Hybrid Reveal’ party, or?

**Dadza:** (He gave me permission to send this.)

**Techno:** YOOOO

**Wilbur:** OH MY GOD

**Wilbur:** WINGS!!

**Techno:** Congrats, Tommy.

**Tommy:** I’M A FUCKING PHOENIX

**Wilbur:** Oh my god your wings are so tiny

**Wilbur:** Awwwww

**Tommy:** SHUT UP YOU DICKHEAD THEY LITERALLY JUST CAME THROUGH

**Dadza:** Tommy’s right, his wings are small because they’re underdeveloped. They’ll most likely grow pretty quickly, so Tommy might be in a lot of pain for the next couple of days.

**Tommy:** bloody annoying that is

**Techno:** Is that your way of telling us to be nice to him?

**Dadza:** Yes.

**Techno:** Alright then.

**Wilbur:** Is this why your back was killing??

**Tommy:** probably

**Tommy:** i think i’m gonna talk to quackity about my wings bc he was a late bloomer too

**Wilbur:** Good call

**Techno:** But if you need any painkillers or anything just yell

**Tommy:** aww it's like you care

**Techno:** Chatter cares, I can't be asked to get yelled at for a month.

**Wilbur:** Suuure

\--

**Teenagers By MCR:**

**Tombourine:** so our list was wrong

**Ranboi:** How so??

***Tombourine sent WINGSMOTHERFUCKER.png***

**Tombourine:** I’M A GODDAMN PHOENIX BITCH

**Tuberculosis:** YOOOOOOO

**Ranboi:** YOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Ranboi:** THAT’S SO COOL

**Tuberculosis:** YOU HAVE WINGS!!

**Tombourine:** YEAH BITCH !!

**Tombourine:** i’m not coming in for a few days so i can get used to them and so they can grow properly and all

**Ranboi:** Yeah that makes sense.

**Ranboi:** I hope it goes okay

**Tombourine:** PHIL SAYS I CAN FUCKING FLY IF THEY GET BIG ENOUGH

**Tuberculosis:** YOOOOOOOOOOO

**Ranboi:** YO THAT’S SO COOL!!!

**Tombourine:** lads, i am half falling asleep because of these fuckin meds but i am not hurting anymore

**Tuberculosis:** Go to sleep if you need to!!

**Ranboi:** We’ll grab any work you miss

**Tombourine:** i love my frieeeeends

**Tuberculosis:** Oh my god he’s so high

**Ranboi:** Oh yeah

**Tombourine:** am not

**Ranboi:** Go have a nap, Tommy

**Tombourine:** mkay going going

**Tuberculosis:** ABSOLUTELY OFF HIS HEAD JFC

\--

**Eret -- > Dream:**

**Eret:** I have GOT to ask, now that all the drama is over, did you ever get that birth certificate? And just for curiosity’s sake, the money?

**Dream:** I did. Everyone took their money back.

**Dream:** Is this like?? Your actual birth certificate???

**Eret:** I’m not sure, I didn’t see. But considering it says I’m apparently royal, I’m guessing no.

**Dream:** Should I get rid of this? I mean it’s your fake birth certificate

**Eret:** Can I have it? My parents find the whole thing really funny

**Dream:** Lmao sure, I’ll give it to you in English

**Eret:** Tysm!

\--

**The Royal Family:**

**King:** GOT MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE BACK

**King:** HOW THE FUCK DID KARL FIND THIS

**Prince:** I HAVE NO IDEA

**Prince:** WOULDN’T IT BE IN LIKE VAULTS OR SOMETHING??

**King:** YEAH. BUT THE THING IS WE LOST IT WHEN I WAS THREE

**King:** BUT LIKE WE HAVE COPIES SO IT’S NOT A MASSIVE DEAL

**King:** BUT KARL SOMEHOW FOUND THE FUCKING ORIGINAL??

**QUEEN NIKI:** He’s got to be a thief or something.

**King:** More like a time traveller.

**King:** How does he just GET these things??

**Prince:** I swear, you know how he’s shit at history??

**King:** Yeah Mr Minecraft keeps giving him all these memory guides

**Prince:** Well I talked to him once and I swear there was something kinda off about how much he knew?? Like he could speak about so much historical stuff but like near no factual stuff?? If that makes sense

**Prince:** It was like he was there and telling it from memory

**Prince:** Couldn’t tell me a single clear date if he tried

**King:** …

**QUEEN NIKI:** I think the time traveller thing was a joke?

**Prince:** Oh I know

**King:** One sec I have some screenshots to send

\--

**BETS (nicknames outlawed):**

***Dream removed Karl***

**Sapnap:** D:

**Sapnap:** whyyyy

**Dream:** NEW BET: is Karl Jacobs a time traveller?

**Sapnap:** what the fuck

\--

**Dogboy -- > Duckface:**

**Dogboy:** hey q, you okay? i’m really sorry i missed you yesterday i fell asleep on call with sapnap

**Duckface:** I’m

**Duckface:** I’m fine, yeah. don’t worry it wasn’t anything major

**Dogboy:** are you sure??

**Duckface:** yeah. I was just stressing about an exam and then I got a text from Schlatt asking me to come babysit again and that threw me the fuck off

**Duckface:** cause Tubbo and I go to the same school now so it’s weird.

**Dogboy:** yeah :(

**Duckface:** so it was just a bunch of stress boiling over don't worry

**Dogboy:** seriously though if there’s anything you need call me

**Duckface:** but will you pick up?

**Dogboy:** i’ll always try.

**Dogboy:** swear on my life.

\--

**Big Q -- > Big T:**

**Big Q:** FUCK YOU

**Big T:** FUCK YOU TOO

**Big T:** but why

**Big Q:** BECAUSE YOU SAID I WAS IN LOVE WITH KARL AND HE JUST SENT SOMETHING REALLY SWEET TO ME NOW MY STUPID BRAIN IS MAKING GO ALL FUCKIN BUTTERFLIES

**Big T:** sounds like a personal problem if you ask me

**Big Q:** you tricked my brain you son of a bitch

**Big T:** do not insult my father this way

**Big Q:** OH SHIT I FORGOT TO REPLY TO KARL

**Big T:** off you go loverboy

**Big Q:** FUCK OFF

\--

**Duckface -- > Dogboy:**

**Duckface:** ty Karl

\--

**Wilbur -- > Dream:**

***Wilbur has unblocked Dream***

\--

**Teenagers by MCR:**

**Tuberculosis:** **@Tombourine** are you aware your brother is building a fake relationship to make Dream jealous

**Tombourine:** wow techno is bored. must be so hard having broken limbs

**Tuberculosis:** No like Wilbur is genuinely doing this

**Tombourine:** what

***Tuberculosis sent screenshot.1***

***Tuberculosis sent screenshot.2***

**Ranboi:** 1\. What did I walk in on, 2. HOW DO YOU HAVE SCREENSHOTS

**Tuberculosis:** I HAVE MY WAYS ENDERBOY

**Tombourine:** tubbo are you fucking omniscient

**Tuberculosis:** Am I what

**Tombourine:** like knows everything. like literally everything

**Tuberculosis:** Like god?

**Tombourine:** yeah like god

**Tuberculosis:** I mean I’m not god I just have informants but sure you can think of me as god if you want

**Tombourine:** i will not

**Ranboi:** I’M SORRY, INFORMANTS??

**Tuberculosis:** Oh have you not met my informants??

**Tombourine:** Tubbo what

***Tuberculosis added Jack Manifold and Purpled***

**Ranboi:** WHAT??

***Purpled left***

**Tuberculosis:** NO COME BACK

***Tuberculosis added Purpled***

**Tombourine:** hi jack

**Jack Manifold:** hi Tommy

**Purpled:** I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE

**Tuberculosis:** JUST EXPLAIN YOUR ROLE IN MY LIFE AND THEN YOU CAN LEAVE

**Ranboi:** What the actual hell is going ON

**Tuberculosis:** These are my informants Ranboo

**Tuberculosis:** They collect information for me

**Jack Manifold:** i just have too much time on my hands

**Purpled:** He’s paying me

**Tombourine:** he’s PAYING YOU??

**Purpled:** Yeah.

**Tuberculosis:** Yeah I give him half my allowance so he can buy more pokemon stuff

**Purpled:** You absolutely do not

**Tuberculosis:** True sometimes I do your homework

***Purpled left***

**Ranboi:** Tubbo why are you this way

**Tuberculosis:** Better question why aren’t you

**Tombourine:** hang on jack are you spying on my brother

**Jack Manifold:** not like actively

**Jack Manifold:** i just notice things and tell Tubbo them because he finds them interesting

**Tuberculosis:** He’s one of my best informants!!

**Ranboi: @Tombourine** this is weird, right? Like it’s not just me?

**Tombourine:** no you’re right ranboo this is fucking weird

**Jack Manifold:** hey he doesn’t actually pay me it’s just Purpled

**Tuberculosis:** That’s true!

***Tombourine removed Jack Manifold***

**Tuberculosis:** :((((( whyyyy

**Tombourine:** CAUSE THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD TUBBO

**Tombourine:** i'm going back to sleep

**Ranboi:** I'm gonna do homework

**Tuberculosis:** I'm gonna go be ABANDONED

**Tombourine:** cry me a river tubzo

\--

**Quackers -- > Greg:**

**Quackers:** George I need your help

**Greg:** With?

**Quackers:** how willing are you to break someone's heart?

**Greg:** Mm. Yes?

**Quackers:** perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHOENIX TOMMY HOW WE FEELING AO3 CHAT?????


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> KARLNAPITY KARLNAPITY KARLNAPITY
> 
> Notes: don't question the geography of this town because idk either
> 
> (CWs: fire/explosions, food mentions, drowning mention, references to a panic attack)

**Dream -- > Wilbur:**

**Dream:** Oh you unblocked me

**Dream:** I was about to beg you to

**Wilbur:** Why

**Dream:** So we can talk in class?

**Wilbur:** We’re sat next to each other?

**Dream:** Name one time we’ve been allowed to speak freely in this class

**Wilbur:** Fair

**Dream:** So uh

**Dream:** I apologised to George

**Wilbur:** Okay

**Dream:** He wasn’t mad?

**Wilbur:** Why the hell wasn’t he mad

**Wilbur:** I would be

**Dream:** He uh

**Dream:** He found it hot?

**Wilbur:** I

**Wilbur:** I did not expect that from him but okay

**Wilbur:** Either way I don’t forgive you so don’t try anything

**Dream:** Yeah I wouldn’t

**Wilbur:** Besides I’m not single anyway

**Dream:** You’re WHAT

**Wilbur:** Don’t act so surprised

**Wilbur:** You were hardly my first relationship nor will you be my last

**Dream:** I mean, I just

**Dream:** It’s a bit soon isn’t it??

**Wilbur:** We broke up last year.

**Dream:** I KNOW BUT

**Dream:** I’m just a little surprised is all??

**Wilbur:** Her name is Sally if you were curious

**Dream:** Nice? I think

**Dream:** I really don’t know how to respond to this

**Dream:** If you couldn’t tell

**Wilbur:** Oh no I could

**Wilbur:** You get so flustered so easily Daydream~

**Dream:** Oh you are fucking cruel

**Wilbur:** So I’ve been told

**Dream:** But are we like… okay? If we’re joking around

**Wilbur:** Sure.

**Dream:** Awesome. I missed you tbh

**Wilbur:** Okay that’s a bit far

**Dream:** Oh so you can call me an old petname and outright flirt and I can’t say I missed you?

**Wilbur:** Well yours is genuine

**Dream:** Whatever you say Wilby

**Wilbur:** I’m immune bitch

**Wilbur:** But we’re only gonna be friends on one condition

**Dream:** Being?

**Wilbur:** You can’t fall in love with me

**Wilbur:** Again

**Dream:** Jesus you’re so cheesy

**Dream:** Won’t be a problem :)

\--

**XD -- > Zzz:**

**XD:** THERE’S A FUCKING PROBLEM

**XD:** GEORGE????

**XD:** ARE YOU ASLEEP I KNOW YOU’RE OFF TODAY

**Zzz:** No but I know for a fact this is about Wilbur. Suffer

**XD:** oh my god you're the WORST

\--

**Swirls -- > Spirals:**

**Swirls:** mmm. might’ve fucked up

**Spirals:** you good?

**Swirls:** it’s q.

**Spirals:** quackity?

**Swirls:** yeah

**Spirals:** what happened?

**Swirls:** he’s been,,, really distant lately. well no. he’s been really clingy but also seemed kinda mad at me?

**Spirals:** huh

**Spirals:** are you worried about him?

**Swirls:** yeah a little??

**Swirls:** i mean,, i shouldn’t talk about this it’s his private business

**Spirals:** you don’t have to if you don’t want to

**Swirls:** he’s,, he’s got this real problem of just not telling people when he’s in trouble

**Swirls:** and the other day i called him and he was like?? idk his voice was all weird. he said his connection was bad but it sounded like he was crying a bit

**Spirals:** yeah that’s fair to be worried about

**Spirals:** are you gonna do anything about it?

**Swirls:** i don’t know if i even can tbh

**Swirls:** you got any ideas?

**Spirals:** you know what, i do

**Spirals:** i don’t know quackity that well, so be honest with me, does he like arson?

**Swirls:** i. i don’t think he’s NOT a fan?

**Swirls:** sapnap what are you planning

**Spirals:** :>

***Spirals started a call***

\--

**Dogboy -- > Duckface:**

**Dogboy:** hey q

**Dogboy:** wanna do something really chaotic and impulsive

**Dogboy:** like right now

**Duckface:** uhhh yes?

**Dogboy:** OKAY PERFECT

**Duckface:** DID YOUR BUNSEN BURNER JUST EXPLODE

**Dogboy:** YEP

**Dogboy:** GOGOGOGOGO!!

**Duckface:** OH MY GOD

**Duckface:** YOU ME AND SAPNAP?? ALRIGHT

\--

**Quackity -- > Sapnap:**

**Quackity:** so uh where the fuck are we going

**Sapnap:** wdym?

**Quackity:** I asked Karl and he said “somewhere fun” and we just started driving so

**Sapnap:** ah yeah this does feel mildly like a kidnapping doesn’t it

**Quackity:** I mean I wouldn’t know as I have personally not been kidnapped before but yes. very much so yes

**Sapnap:** dw we are going somewhere fun. at least i think you’ll find it fun?

**Quackity:** can you tell me what it is?

**Sapnap:** it’s a surprise :>

**Quackity:** ah, of course

**Sapnap:** it’s on like the other side of town

**Quackity:** that does not help me

**Sapnap:** you’ll know it when you see it

**Quackity:** will I though?

**Sapnap:** yep! dw

**Sapnap:** ,,you just dropped your drink are you okay

**Quackity:** fine.

**Sapnap:** well considering you’re all shaky i don’t think you are?

**Quackity:** I’m not shaking

**Sapnap:** you literally are but okay

**Sapnap:** you okay?

**Quackity:** you know randomly being dragged off by my best friend and his new boytoy isn’t exactly NOT anxiety inducing

**Sapnap:** oh. yeah jesus christ i’m an idiot

**Sapnap:** well look we’re here now, you want us to take you back to school or home or?

**Quackity:** the junkyard?

**Sapnap:** yep!

**Quackity:** why are we at the junkyard

**Sapnap:** fire!!

**Quackity:** …what

\--

**Greg -- > Quackers:**

**Greg:** Dude where are you

**Greg:** You’ve never skipped math before??

***Quackers sent chillingandburning.png***

**Quackers:** burning shit with Karl and Sapnap

**Greg:** Are they holding hands in that photo?

**Quackers:** yeah.

**Quackers:** but also Karl was sat on my lap for like a solid 30 minutes before and I’m pretty sure I’ve never hugged Sapnap before today so like I’m not that mad about it lmao

**Greg:** Yeah he is surprisingly cuddly

**Quackers:** yeah tell me about it

**Quackers:** I’m enjoying myself. that’s weird

**Quackers:** normally I’d just be mad but. I’m not

**Greg:** So your plan to break hearts?

**Quackers:** on the backburner

**Quackers:** sapnap ain’t that safe

**Greg:** Q you do realise this is a weird path to take, right?

**Quackers:** what do you mean

**Greg:** You know that your plan is weird? Like you said yourself ‘I know I’ll break hearts but I don’t even care’?

**Quackers:** I was in a weird mood

**Quackers:** we’re breaking an abandoned car gtg

**Greg:** Have fun? I think? Be careful

**Quackers:** I will

\--

**Spirals -- > Swirls:**

**Spirals:** karl really quick where is somewhere q likes??

**Swirls:** uH

**Swirls:** the beach. he loves the beach

**Spirals:** the beach… OH WE’RE NOT TOO FAR FROM THERE

**Swirls:** why are you asking??

**Spirals:** might’ve seen a police car nearby we might need to dip soon

**Spirals:** ,,,actually make soon now. like right now

\--

**Duckface -- > Dogboy:**

**Duckface:** okay, where are we going now? and also did we lose them

**Dogboy:** the beach :D

**Dogboy:** and yeah we lost them a few minutes ago

**Duckface:** alright that's good

**Dukcface:** but karlos this is not the way to the beach

**Dogboy:** dw we’re just grabbing some drinks first

**Dogboy:** your favourite is that apple boba right?

**Duckface:** you remembered??

**Dogboy:** hell yeah i did

**Dogboy:** last month we went out and we got boba and you got really excited because i’d never had it before, it was cute

**Duckface:** I. cute??

**Dogboy:** yeah you’re adorable

**Duckface:** oh my god

**Dogboy:** alright we’re here, SNACK RUN

\--

**Swirls -- > Spirals:**

**Swirls:** you don’t know joy until you see q run into the water fully clothed because he got excited

**Spirals:** pfft yeah

**Spirals:** somehow, despite him being a literal duck hybrid, i never expected him to like water

**Swirls:** oh yeah he LOVES it

**Swirls:** oh he’s calling me,, should we go in and join him??

**Spirals:** way ahead of you Swirls

**Swirls:** oh i am going to DROWN you let's go!!

\--

**Quackity -- > Sapnap:**

**Quackity:** HOLY SHIT THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN

**Sapnap:** YEAH I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT TO BE AS FUN AS IT WAS??

**Quackity:** oh my god and when Karl got knocked over by a wave?? incredible

***Sapnap sent beachsunset.png***

**Sapnap:** lmaooo we’ve been here all day

**Sapnap:** and ik karl likes those sunset pictures so here you can have it too

**Quackity:** i’m honoured.

\--

**Dogboy -- > Duckface:**

**Dogboy:** how opposed would you be to going to sapnap’s house to watch a movie?

**Duckface:** honestly? idm

**Duckface:** let’s go

\--

**Quackity -- > Sapnap:**

**Quackity:** so

**Quackity:** this is kinda awkward

**Sapnap:** i don’t think this is super awkward

**Quackity:** we’re literally being forced to spoon because Karl fell asleep on me how is this not awkward

**Sapnap:** i mean idm cuddling with you

**Quackity:** we barely know each other

**Sapnap:** cmon i feel like we know each other a lot better after today

**Quackity:** well… yeah. I mean now I know that you’re fun

**Sapnap:** holy shit a quackity compliment?? i shall treasure this for years thank u

**Quackity:** yeah yeah very funny

**Quackity:** but I still don’t like. KNOW you

**Sapnap:** well what do you wanna know? we can hardly talk with karl asleep so

**Quackity:** alright uh,,

**Quackity:** what’s your favourite colour?

**Sapnap:** classic. it’s orange

**Quackity:** any like,, specific shade? And why?

**Sapnap:** oh you’re asking the deep questions okay

**Sapnap:** hmm really specifically, you know when the sun sets and all the clouds go all orange? that. it’s my favourite cause it reminds me of being a kid

**Quackity:** that’s really nice

**Sapnap:** wbu?

**Quackity:** dark blue.

**Quackity:** specifically the,, hm. Like the ocean, when it’s really far out and sunny, when you look on the horizon and it’s all dark. That’s my favourite

**Sapnap:** ooh that’s pretty. why’s that your favourite?

**Quackity:** I’m a duck. water is good

**Sapnap:** pfft of course

**Sapnap:** wait is karl asleep on your wings?

**Quackity:** yeah

**Sapnap:** is that not uncomfortable??

**Quackity:** no more uncomfortable if he were like sleeping on my arm

**Quackity:** and apparently my feathers are soft so

**Sapnap:** they look soft. you’ve got really pretty wings

**Quackity:** I,,, um. thank u

**Quackity:** sorry I’m sleepy and not good w/ compliments

**Sapnap:** that’s fine.

**Sapnap:** you can fall asleep if you want to

**Quackity:** I mean I’d rather not but you’re really warm and it’s comfy

**Sapnap:** did you just call me hot?

**Quackity:** NO

**Quackity:** WHAT

**Quackity:** I MEAN

**Quackity:** YOU’RE NOT LIKE NOT ATTRACTIVE

**Quackity:** BECAUSE YOU ARE

**Quackity:** BUT I MEANT YOU’RE LIKE PHYSICALLY WARM

**Sapnap:** aw

**Sapnap:** i was joking around with you but you really do think i’m hot

**Quackity:** oh my god I hate you

**Sapnap:** oh you’re so blushing

**Quackity:** am not

**Sapnap:** oh you areeee

**Sapnap:** q?

**Sapnap:** oh shit you’re asleep

**Sapnap:** ah well, sleep well q

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry that karlnapity just absolutely dominated this chapter but, consider: i love them

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to comment if you have questions or if you just really liked it :D
> 
> (also please don't send this to any creators this is just for fun)


End file.
